Friday, April 03, 2020

The art of giving up?

I'll be honest, I don't write as much anymore and, when I do, it rolls itself around my brain for a while first. When I first started to think of this one, Coronavirus wasn't a word I'd ever heard of, now it's on all our minds.

When I originally started thinking of this, I had just given up slimming world. I'd finally decided I'd had enough of diets. I've never been small, the smallest I had ever been was a UK 14, that was when I was in my mid teens, even then I was mostly a 16 though. If I went shopping with friends, I would take smaller sizes into the changing rooms, and swap the hangers over, so it looked like I was a smaller size.

I'm so tired of feeling that way, so I gave up every single diet I've ever been on. I'm still keeping an eye on the scales and, guess what? They haven't moved!

Now, when I started mulling this over, I had no idea how much we would actually be giving up. Now we are all staying indoors as much as we can, with limited freedoms.

I'm lucky that I love home cooked meals, so the shopping for essentials hasn't been that hard for me. The only part I found a little difficult, is the fact that I can't go shopping. I have diabetes, multiple vitamin deficiencies, amongst other problems. This means, even though my husband is physically disabled, I'm the one at risk of Coronavirus. I also worry about my youngest, being autistic doesn't put him at risk, but he also has vitamin deficiencies, including, like me, very low iron.

I've had to give up my dog walks! I have taken two, the first one scared the crap out of me because of young men not social distancing, and having a dog off the lead (My dog does not like other dogs). The second time, we took the youngest, in his wheelchair, which makes it easier for the mister, he can use it like a walker. It was a pleasant walk, but I'm so anxious being outside. I've made face masks, I saw a pattern online, so we all wore those, but I'm still so nervous.

Now, this is the funny part. Apart from those two very small things, my life really hasn't changed that much! My youngest hates going out, the only way he'll do it is 
a: in the car 
or 
b: when he is in control. 
He sets where we go, when we will leave, when it gets too much. By allowing him to do this, and using his wheelchair, we actually get to have days out. Yes, they are rare, but we can go out. At the moment he knows he's not in control of what is happening, so staying home is a good thing.

He has never been a fan of school. Yes, he's settled lovely into his new special base, but if he didn't have to go again, he'd been fine. After years of school refusal, having him home isn't really a shock. We aren't focusing on school work, he's very black and white when it comes to school and home. I have played some sneaky games, when he's in the mood, that are educational. 

So, I know we all have to give up so much, right now, but this too shall pass.

I do wonder what the world we emerge to will be like?

How are you doing with the lock down?

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