This weekend I'm off to a blogging conference, called BlogOn. I've been to them before, many years ago, when they were held down south (they are normally in Manchester, way out of my budget). This time will be a little different for me though.
Normally, I'm very confident at these things, I'm not shy, but I'm also happy with my own company. I don't mind that people don't know who I am, I am a bit of a fraud when it comes to blogging anyway. I've been quietly lurking in the background for many a year, never really pushing myself to be an 'influencer'. I have a small, but lovely, following. I'm never going to win awards, but I have judged a few.
Basically, I'm a happy loiterer.
What will be different? Me, I'll be different.
The last blogging event I went to was eighteen months ago and I had a massive anxiety attack whilst there. I'm not exaggerating, I had to call my husband just so I could breathe. I had pains in my chest, my vision was going, I couldn't stop crying. When he managed to calm me, I put the phone down and slept. I forced myself to go to the evening event, only stayed an hour or so, then went back to my room and cried again, then slept again. I couldn't wait to get home, where I'm fortunate to have an amazing support system.
So why am I putting myself through this again? Because I must! I can't let that influence what I do, or I might never do anything again. A lot has gone on in my life, each time I've struggled, but jumped the hurdle again. This is no different.
I will go, but I will understand my limits. There are lots of 'get togethers', and parties, none of which I'll be attending. I will be going to the conference, then spending some time getting, much needed, rest. Besides all that, I'm doing this on a very tight budget!
So I hope you don't mind if I spam you like crazy, across social media (you know where to find me, I'm Ojosworld everywhere), because I'm going to need you all!