Friday, March 15, 2019

Bad mam, or good?

Today I'm not sure.

Ajax is struggling with school. There's barely a lunch time that he doesn't come out crying, or being quiet and upset after school. I'm already picking him up every lunch time, so that he can get a break through the day (it's also a safety issue I have), there's not much more I can do to make it easier for him.

Photo by Thomas Kolnowski on Unsplash

For the first time, since he started this school, I don't feel he's being understood. I think he's being pushed too hard, and not in a way that will encourage him to do it, it's sending his anxiety through the roof. Don't get me wrong, I know he goes to school to learn, I just don't understand why they had to change what was already working.

Also, for the first time, I don't feel listened to. We know Ajax has some hyper-mobility issues, especially in his hands and feet, long distances are a struggle for him and he struggles with things like doors and cutlery. He truly detests writing, even though he is brilliant at it, we genuinely believe it's a struggle for him, but nobody will listen! Ajax won't speak up, outside the house he'll barely talk, if he can get away with it.

The pick ups are getting harder to do. I've left the school fighting back my own tears, more than once.

So, when he woke up a little snotty today, climbing into our bed, as usual, I thought 'sod it', and kept him home. Realistically, he was well enough for school, I just simply couldn't cope with seeing him upset again.

I've always been happy with the school he's in, they've been amazing so far. It just seems that this year, his final in the school, it's all changed, they want to change him. I've had a couple of meetings, with his next school, which is a special resource base, which have gone so well. My poor little boy can't wait to start there.

I'm going to have to have a meeting, with his current school, soon, just to discuss my concerns. I know what their response will be, but if I don't fight my sons corner, who will??

So good or bad, he stayed home today. In fact, he didn't leave our bedroom all day (it took me a while to clear the Lego out, before bed).

What would you have done?
And, how would you move forward?
All advice welcome, I can't bare to see my gorgeous boy upset.


  1. You’re most definitely not a ’bad mam’, you clearly have your little boy’s best interests at heart. So sad that the school seems to have changed their attitude for some reason... Making him upset and stressed can’t be conducive to learning.
    I’m not sure what you should do, other than communicate with the school as you already are. If it doesn’t affect his placement for the autumn, you could perhaps educate him at home for these final few months, if the school won’t listen and your son is suffering. But I would check with his next school first, as well as with the LA, before (maybe) deregistering xx

    1. I'm going to have a chat this week, see how we can move forward x

  2. As a parent, we just have to trust our gut feel, there is no right or wrong answer. Sounds like the break was needed; hopefully in meetings you can get to a point where you agree what support is needed next x

    1. He greatly did need a day, he is so happy normally its hard seeing so many tears x

  3. I'd say you're a very good mum! You did what was needed for him at that time. So sorry to hear things are going wrong for him at his current school, but at least he's looking forward to his new school. I think there is a preoccupation with pushing kids hard in their final year to help prepare to move them on, but the irony is that the new schools always take a lot of time to settle them.

    1. Exactly and his next school will be even gentler x


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