Saturday, August 18, 2018

Changing life for the better:

I've touched on a lot of stuff, recently, on this blog. One of the things that I get messages about, is how real I am, I open up and talk about things that people understand. So that's what I've decided to do, in this post.

I'm going to add a disclaimer, right up front. If you see something in this post, that makes me feel like I'm talking about you, have the bottle to ask me straight out. I don't name names, but I write about me and my life, and how things around me affect my mood. If you don't like what you read, don't come back! 
At the end of the day, this is my page.


Firstly, I'm feeling happier in myself than I have, in a very long time. Let's look into the reason I think my mood has improved. The biggest is the people I have chosen to surround myself with.

The problem with friends is that some of them can be toxic, but we don't realise, until we walk away from that friendship. It took a severe down turn in my mental health, to detach myself from people I didn't realise were toxic, to me, until I was free. That is not to say that these people are 'bad', just some friendships take a toll you don't realise you are paying.

I've not told the full story to anyone, that is connected to all of us, for two reasons. The main one being, I don't believe in destroying someones character, simply because they've upset me. Other people will see the truth soon enough. The other reason, I don't want to be a bitch! I believe I'm a good person, I intend to stay that way, talking about someone behind their back is not what a good person does.

When the fallout happened, I detached myself almost immediately. I deleted certain people from all my social media. Do you know how cathartic that can be, when you're in a bad place? I cried myself to sleep for several nights, over the break down of 'friendship', until I realised I was allowing someone else to make me feel this way! 

Another thing I realised, at this time, is that I had stopped being around people that were good for me, because I was questioning whether they really wanted to be around me, or whether they just wanted me because I was useful for something. This is another thing I changed, as soon as I could. 

This resulted in two things

1. I instantly felt better about myself 
and 
2. These people actually do want me around.

I guess the message in this post is: If you're in a bad place, really look at who you surround yourself with and make a change if it's needed. 

Be with people who lift you up, and who you lift.
Be with the people who know you're having a bad day, just by looking at you (and you them).
In other words, make sure your friendship is equal.

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Anyway, like I said at the beginning, I'm in a really good place right now. I was fortunate to be invited to the wedding of a true warrior friend, in the last two years she has had two mastectomies and a hysterectomy, one day I intend to sit with her and write her story, it's truly inspiring.


So, I hope you're are all loving life.
Much love


4 comments:

  1. It can be hard to see the wood for the trees sometimes, but when you do it's like "Wow... how come I didn't see this earlier?". Found myself nodding a LOT reading this xxx

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    1. That's exactly right! We do question ourselves, until we realise xx

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  2. Love this post and so pleased you are in a good place right now. Will always value having you in my life special lady.

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    1. Thank you lovely lady, I love being in this good place x

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I do love comments and read them all, please be nice and tboughful to others x