So, it's that time of the week. The post where I empty my brain of the past week, so I can move on, happier, to the next week.
Something you may not know about me: I like to write 'off the cuff'. I sit with my laptop, write something out, proof read, spell check and publish. When you read this, you are reading the real me.
I actually sat down to write this post at 11am, I had written the bit above the picture, then this:
Now, don't be shocked: I'm home alone! I don't know how long it will last, but I don't care. I have peace, quiet
That was when my mother turned up! (Yes mother, I know you will read this, I love you, but you're a pain in the ass xx).
Any way, last week. It actually went rather smoothly! We had no school refusal and RJ has a bit of respite from exams and tests. The problem with Ajax having good days? The nights tend to compensate. We didn't have many full nights last week, so if anything I'm writing seems a bit nonsensical, you know why.
The biggest stress last week, was RJ going to Cardiff for the day, with friends! He doesn't do well in stressful situations, likes everything planned out, he gets anxious and worried. So there were a lot of talks about various situations, with a promise to call us if anything was worrying him. I genuinely don't know what was worse, that he might have needed to call me, or that he didn't! Basically he had a wonderful day, I have a few more grey hairs.
That's it really, for the past week, it's all been pretty smooth. I even lost weight at slimming world, which seems to be a real struggle for me, lately.
There is something else I want to talk about, something that has been dawning on me lately.
I don't think I'm a people person any more.
I've always been a people person, and a people pleaser, but more and more, I'm craving time away, time alone. I still love talking to people, particularly in the village when I'm popping up the shop, or on the school run.
However, I'm finding it harder and harder not to scream F*CK OFF! At the top of my voice. Every one seems so bloody sensitive to everything, or insensitive to others. I'm a big fan of social media, it connects us in a way that we've never had before, but it's also used far too much to hide behind. People are sharing opinions that they wouldn't say to your face, then thinking that deleting it later will fix the problem. It doesn't.
I don't know if it's middle age, exhaustion, or I'm simply sick of people's shit? We all have stuff going on, I don't particularly like talking to people about mine, I'm happier writing it here, so sometimes I will go quiet and withdraw a little. It's not that anyone has done anything to upset me, it's simply my way of dealing with the crap life is throwing at me. It's in these situations that people get hyper sensitive and, instead of asking if you're ok, they will start to think they done something wrong, that I'm being rude.
Lighten up people! Did you feel like this before social media?!
Anyway, sorry about the rant (I'm not really), I hope you're weeks are going as smooth as mine, hopefully you're getting sleep too.