Saturday, March 17, 2018

Let's talk Labels

This is a post that's been rattling around my little brain for a while. Why haven't I written it, before now? Because it's a little different for me, I guess, and it's an emotive issue.

I think we are becoming a world/continent/country that is ruled by labels. In my honest opinion, it is being ruined by labels. I know that some are important, I use some of those myself, but I'll talk about them later in the post.

For now, I want to talk about the 'everyday' labels, that we all use, those that if we didn't use, they would lose their negative power. Do you know what labels I'm talking about?

I'm talking about the labels that are used to define our sexuality.

I have now managed to raise two boys into their teenage years, so talking about sexuality, and all it's meanings, have been discussed. I'm a huge believer in being open, and honest, with my children. I want to be able to answer their, sometimes difficult, questions honestly. I don't tell them what to think, I prefer to open discussions, to give them my opinions, and those of others, giving them the tools to form their own view of life.

One such discussion is about my belief that labels, such as: Gay, Straight, Bi etc, are meaningless to me. I know that seems like a negative thing, but it's not. Let me explain: We live in a wonderful time, for love. It doesn't matter who you fall in love with, you can marry, and we can all live as equals. So isn't it time that the descriptions caught up? Why do we have to label those two men, that are in love and happy, as the 'gay' couple? They are just a couple. No one looks at me, and my husband and says: 'oh, look at that heterosexual couple'!

We fall in love with a person, not a label. For example: If you are a woman, that falls in love with a man, then finds out that man is trans gender, do you fall out of love?! No, of course not, because you didn't fall in love with the shell, but with the inside! If you were happily married for 20 years, then it comes to an end and your next relationship is with someone of the same sex, does that mean you didn't love the person you were married to? I don't think anyone can put on an 'act' for that long! 

Isn't it time we just dispensed with the labels, and concentrated on the emotional bond?

We are bringing a generation into this world that is making real change. Our children are far more accepting of all kinds of relationships, than our parents were, let's embrace that! Let's embrace equality, across the board, not just male/female issues. 

Now, obviously there are other labels that I do use, the labels that I feel are needed. However, they have nothing to do with sexuality, they are for disability. I know many people don't like these labels either, and I totally respect those peoples opinions, I just believe they help. The fact that my son is 'labelled' autistic allows him access to extra help, help that he probably wouldn't receive, if he didn't have it.

When it comes to disability, and learning difficulties, I firmly believe they help. I know everyone doesn't agree, that we should see the person, rather than the label. However, without these labels, we cannot assist our children to live a full and independent life. You could have a brilliant child, that happens to have dyslexia, years ago, this would have been seen as a negative, the child classed as 'slow'. How can it be seen as anything other than a positive, that children now get the support required to get through this?

I guess what I'm saying is: Labels have their place.

I would love to hear some other opinions on this, as it's something I believe we should be talking about, especially with the next generation. 

Let's move with the times.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Shaun Faulkner15 June 2019 at 19:29

    Labels have a specific purpose, efficiency, we simply could not remember how to refer to every single object and even if we could it would be a waste of mental resources, a label allows us to group things for the efficiency of mental processing. The issue with labels is when someone can't see passed the label, categorising types using a label helps but when you fail to see the individuals are not completely identical then you risk discriminating, treating someone unfairly and so on. Use a label when appropriate but remember to treat people as unique individuals that don't always comply perfectly with your stereotype and have feelings that maybe hurt by your assumptions about them based on these labels.

    I completely agree in regards to Autism, a diagnosis of Autism (Aspergers) was a relief in that it explained a lot to myself and it opened doors in regards to opportunities and people being supportive and understanding. I am so glad I was diagnosed


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