Monday, October 02, 2017

Blogtober 17: Babies

Hm, yes. 
Today's theme is babies. 
Mine aren't babies anymore. 
I mean they're my babies, they always will be, no matter how much they grow (or complain!).

my 'babies'!
The youngest will be 10, in just a few short months. Middle boy has started GCSE work and the eldest has moved out! Thankfully, there will no babies coming from them anytime soon........I hope!

So how do you write about babies, when you don't have any? One of the things I haven't talked about, on here, before is how hard it was for me to have my first baby.

I was very young wanting children, I'd never considered that I wouldn't. At 18 I was living with Mr. Ojo, engaged and wanting a family, I'd already been with him 2 years by now. I came off the contraceptive pill and, as far as I was concerned, that was that, we were going to be a family.

Just after my 19th birthday we got married, still not pregnant, but still young and carefree, so didn't think of it as a problem. The following year I had started to wonder why I was not conceiving, but suffering horribly painful periods. So off to my doctor I went. My doctor decided, without a proper examination, that it was a hormone imbalance, due to the weather! Is that even a thing?!

I was so upset at his apparent lack of care, I decided to change doctors. Me and the Mr decided, between us, I would go to his Dr, he'd always been reliable and caring. My first appointment he was sat with me, and my notes (bare in mind, this was over 20 years ago, it was all on paper). I told him the same as I had told my previous Dr and he asked how long I'd been off the pill. When I told him 2 years, he asked why I wasn't pregnant, and so a battery of tests was ordered.

From that day my life got turned on it's head!

To cut a long story short, I ended up spending years going back and forth to a fertility clinic. I was diagnosed with precancerous cells and sent in for a minor op, still being young, I didn't realise that this could have been quite serious. I ended up having a cervical smear annually, for quite a few years. I honestly didn't realise that 21 year old females, in the UK, don't get those as standard!

We discovered that I was getting pregnant regularly and those horribly painful periods were, in fact, early miscarriages. It was an utterly heartbreaking time for me and Mr. Ojo. So much so that by the time I was 24, with no real reason for my lack of conception, we decided it was too much. I went back to college, part time, and got a job.

And guess what?

Yup, I got pregnant, almost straight away!

It was a wonderfully easy pregnancy, with my beautiful, healthy boy, at the end of it. He was 9lb 4.5oz of perfection.

It took a few years before I could face trying again, when I did it ended in another miscarriage. When we could face trying again I got pregnant immediately, with my gorgeous middle boy.

After 2 easy male pregnancy, the unofficial opinion is that I can't carry girls. It doesn't really bother me as I always wanted a houseful of boys, my dream number was 5 (mad I know!), but that was not to be.

What was meant to be, however, was boy number 3. Shockingly, after all my history, he was a stunning little surprise. I say little, if he'd gone to term he would have been around 12lb!

I guess there's something to say about never giving up, but in our case it was giving up that helped. It took the pressure off.

It's a part of my history that I tend to leave there, in the past. I'm just grateful that I ended up with my 3 boys. If I'm honest, I still baby them, they don't help around the house nearly as much as they should.

Sorry for the slightly bleak post, but it's a story very few know.
Hopefully tomorrow will be back to normal.



  1. I met my husband at 15, and I married just after my 18th birthday. that was 43 years ago. Sometimes you just meet the right person. It was so sad reading how hard you struggled to have babies, but wow! They were nice and cuddly xx

  2. I loved this, so honest. Thank you so much for sharing x

  3. Such a honest post, so sad to read the struggles that you faced.

  4. You did right changing doctors.
    Aww! Bless you! What a struggle you had. Sending love and hugs. x

  5. So much heartache, but how wonderful that you never gave up! And what a good looking bunch of boys you have. Always your babies!

  6. Aw, I had absolutely no idea you’d had such a tough time. I’m so sorry for all the miscarriages and heartache. I love that you guys are still going strong after so many years though. It’s so inspiring. My brother and his wife met in their mid-teens and have now been together for more than 20 years. X

  7. Lovely story, you have to go with your gut don't you X #blogtober17


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