I had a conversation with a friend, over coffee, the other day. We were talking about me being a parent and about how some people are natural mothers, where as some never heard the tick/tock of the biological clock.
I always wanted children, I just always saw myself as a mother. From the age of 18 I wanted to be a mam, I know it's young, but I was in a serious relationship with Mr. Ojo and we knew we'd be married (it happened 2 weeks after my 19th birthday). I didn't get pregnant until I was 24, after many tests, hospital appointments, operations and a big weight loss.
As much as I wanted to be a mother, nothing prepares you, does it??
This year feels like another huge year in our family lives.
This is the year my eldest will go to university, he's also leaving home and looking for a flat/house, with a friend. The thing that is hitting me hardest though.........He'll no longer be a teenager, by the end of the year!?
|Decorating my living room, how can he be grown up enough to do this!?|
My biggest boy will turn 20, on Boxing day. How do I own a 20 year old?? I have days where my back aches and my bones crack, but I don't feel old enough to be a mother to a grown up, a man! Yet here I am, having gotten him through teething, walking, school, heartbreak, puberty, anxiety and all the other drama and joy, that comes with bringing up a child.
|My middle boy, with his summer hair, rock star red|
As if that's not bad enough, my middle boy will turn 15 next birthday, just after Christmas. My guitar mad, YouTube and gaming obsessed boy, will be starting his GCSE years, year 10. In my head he's still a little boy that just left primary. How can he be closer to the end of secondary school, than the beginning!?
|Not forgetting: My little shadow x|
Then my youngest, my beautiful, smiley, baby boy will hit double figures, 10! I will no longer have a child, in single figures, in the house.
I feel so bloody old!!
There is nothing, in this world, that can get you ready for this. I've spent their whole life preparing them, but who prepares me? I'm actually looking forward to my eldest spreading his wings and moving out, he's ready, but I'm not ready for him to leave his teens! Is there something I can give him, that will stop time?
I am lucky that I have a great relationship with my husband, so empty nest syndrome (hopefully) won't hit as hard. I know there's a good chance that Ajax will never leave, but I never give up hope for an independent life for him.
Could someone, pretty please, stop my babies having to grow up.
I can't cope!