Monday, August 21, 2017

Because they ARE different!

I've come to a realisation, about my parenting. I have parented each of my children totally differently. I hear so many people saying they treat their children the same, which is fine, if it works for you. Personally, I don't think it works for me.

I've simply believed that if I want 3 individuals, I can't treat them the same. My eldest is very chilled, to the point of being horizontal, yet suffers with terrible anxieties. He has insomnia, but rarely leaves his room! He's funny, with a sarcastic sense of humour, he's always the first with a quick comeback. He's artistic, but is never happy with his work.

If I spoke to my middle boy, like I do my eldest, he would be an emotional wreck! He is high strung and demanding, but great company and could talk a glass eye to sleep. He falls asleep earlier than any one else in the house, but also gets up the earliest, so he can have time alone with his games. He is musical and football mad, at his happiest kicking a ball around the front yard, or with a guitar in his hands. He's intelligent, but hates reading books!?

Then my youngest, my special boy. He's the boss, if we're honest. He loves reading, the library is his favourite place, he regularly walks out with 10 books. He's a smiler, always happy, but when he's grumpy we ALL know about it. He's filled my house with joy........and Lego, boy there's a lot of Lego!

How can I treat them the same? They are individuals, with different likes, loves and hobbies. They have rarely worn hand me down clothes, as they're tastes are so different. 

I've always called my style of parenting 'relaxed', I don't know if that's an actual thing, but it's how I see it. I don't pressure my boys to spend time around us, I think they should WANT to be around you, if they don't YOU are doing something wrong.

I think I've got it right, as my eldest is being really sensible about moving out, and going to Uni. My middle boy is level headed, but fun. My youngest rarely has 'meltdowns', considering all his sensory issues and his autism I think that's quite incredible.

How do you parent?
Are you a 'helicopter' parent or, like me, more relaxed, gently guiding them in the right direction?

I would love to hear your opinions.

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