Friday, January 15, 2016

What to do?

Before I start, I am not fishing for compliments, I'm not down or depressed. Just a little lost.

(Mr. Ojo, pipe down before you start!)

I've been feeling a little lost for a while, not quite sure where I fit in the world. I have a wonderful children. Yes, they can be extremely hard work, they all have issues, but that's my 'normal' so it's just something I get on with.

I have a wonderful hubby, which you probably know, I talk about him often enough! I know he is now at home full time, and not as physically able as he once was, but he's all mine.

The problem is: I used to do everything, now I don't.

Since finishing work Mr. Ojo helps around the house, with things he can do. Quite frankly, he's better at most of it, than me. He gets the boys up in the morning (I am NOT a morning person), I get them to school.

After that............I don't really do anything, of use. I can't go out to work, as I am always on call. There is a phone call from one child, or another, nearly every day. There is a limit on what the mister can do about these calls, particularly in this cold frosty weather.

I never knew what I wanted to do, when I was young.
 The problem is, I still don't.
 I am going to grow old, never having achieved anything.

I'm not highly intelligent, but I'm not dumb either. I feel that most things can be done better by others, particularly Mr. Ojo, who is incredibly intelligent (this is where you pipe down).

I have nothing in my life that excites me. 
I don't go out often, can't really afford to anymore. 
I used to love to sing, now it's just something I do when I'm cleaning.
I love to dance, now I feel judged, because I'm 'plus sized', so I only dance around the house.

I have nothing that is mine, except this blog. Unfortunately, I don't do anything of interest to write about. 

Is this something that comes with mid life?
Am I going through a mid life crisis?

I would love some opinions from my 40+ readers.


  1. I think we all go through phases like this after we hit 40. I'm 46 this year and I'm currently on a crisis a day! They are my 'funks' but they pass. I panic that life is passing me by. Reading about people's action packed lives on social media only adds to the feelings. Everybody is so much more interesting than me lol but then I remind myself of my limitations and I deal with it. Hugs X

  2. I totally get this. Since my kids are both grown up now and both working they pretty much live their own lives. I am totally understanding the Empty Nest syndrome. I'm a housewife who doesn't like housework much...only do what needs doing and no more. I don't have to cook as much either as I never know if they're in or out! I feel lost too. I've loved being a stay at home Mum, but my social life has disappeared! Thank goodness for my favourite tweeters and bloggers!

  3. Jo, first of all, you have brought two(?) wonderful boys into this world, and raised them to be the best they can be. That is no trivial accomplishment, and you should be proud of that. You will grow old having achieved more than many people in that one thing alone.
    At home, why not share the work? OH and I do that - until 15 years ago I worked full-time and she was home-maker, then I gave up work to look after home and family so she could resume her career. We've just clocked up 39 years of marriage so we must have done something right?
    Nothing to excite you? What would you like to do? Art? Poetry? Needlecraft? Voluntary work? We should all have some diversion in our lives so think what you would like to do, and go for it. There are people out there who would love to help and encourage you. Sing! Join a choir, local ensemble, anything. Being able to sing is a gift which touches souls other than your own. Dance! Who cares what shape or size you are? Have you not seen 'fat man dancing' on Twitter and YouTube? Remember, all destructive criticism comes only from jealousy, so rise above it and leave them in your wake.
    I'll be 66 next month, and had to give up working (even part-time) just as I reached 60, but I've rediscovered interests and hobbies I had when younger, which got put aside as life intervened.
    And if none of the above thoughts encourage or inspire you, take comfort in the fact that you have the talent to actually WRITE about it, something which is denied to too many others.
    Good luck, hugs and kisses.

  4. I'm 34 but I think we all get stages of this in life? Especially with the social media fake action packed lives going on. For my birthday this year I made a list of 35 things to do before I'm 35 as I find goals help stop me getting in a rutt. I also find TedTalks really useful. Maybe good to try?

  5. I completely relate to this and have drafted many a similar post! I'm also "on call" and it's a very important role - we're like the junior doctors for our children, but less valued. As for your blog, it's real, it's about the lives lived by so many people, and it's comforting for so many of us that you keep writing xx

  6. I sometimes feel like this but them I am reminded I am achieving something! I am raising my girls...I think a lot of people do feel like this at some point in their life. x

  7. Hi Jo, I hear you. Sounds like alot is going on but at the same time, you trying to find your purpose at this phase in your life. I'm sure a few of your readers fell the same. When I wa a bit torn what to do I blogged, chatted online to other bloggers about this and that, and read articles online. I found that rejoining the gym helped to clear my head and allowed me to seeing my situtation differently and find ways to get to places and be a part of things that interested me. Joining the gym isn't cheap but there a videos on YouTube there are more bloggers getting into fitness who post workout regimes and food. Talking long walks. Maybe volunteering to do some social media work for a charity. Networking more online for opportunities that have peaked your interest you never know what might happen :0)


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