Wednesday, February 12, 2014

To the lady at the Concert

There was an open letter doing the rounds recently. It was from a mum to the man sat in the seat next to her autistic daughter. I recommend you read it, I really do. This is the link:

Please read it, if you haven't already. It's quite emotional.

It got me wondering, if I could look back at anyone that I have encountered, and there was. However, I've done my usual, and flipped it on its head.

So, this is to the lady at the church, during my middle sons Christmas concert.

Thank you for your ignorance that Eve. I'd had no choice but to bring little A to his brothers concert. I had no one to take care of him, and I wasn't going to miss his brother singing a solo in church! 

Thank you for muttering about my lack of parenting skills under your breathe. It made me realise how many people care about our welfare. I got a bit angry and upset about your comment, but the people around us got so angry. The people who understood, they cared.

I thank you for making me look deeply at my parenting. You really opened my eyes that day. I thought you should know, I'm actually a good mum. My son didn't scream the church down (oh and by the way, in case you do give a crap, churches are a really difficult sensory experience for my son), and that was because I took things to distract him. 

I'm now very careful where I take my son. I try to avoid places that may 'set him off'. I would hate for him, as he gets older, to have to deal with people like you.

So I thank you, the mother at the the church, that passed judgement on me. I thank you, because I realised you were in the wrong, not me. I now know to ignore or educate ignorance like yours, and I will teach my children the same.

 Hopefully you won't teach your child your ignorance


  1. I love how people must be so perfect that they feel the need to judge others so quickly! Wish people would remember that kids are kids and all have their ways and issues. You are a wonderful mum and I take my hat of to all parents who have the addition crap to deal with from other people just because they are autistic. That is not what defines them, what defines them is them the good bits, the bad bits, the little things they do - same as every kid. I'm glad I'm not perfect and don't feel the need to judge. Keep on being fabulous x

    1. Thank you for such a wonderful and thoughtful comment, means more than you know xx

  2. Yep too quick to judge many people and sadly I'm sure I've been in that position too before at times. Always good to be reminded that we cannot make assumptions and that love, patience and tolerance goes a long way. Mich x

    1. It does Mich, I am a much braver person than I was then. Now I would have politely put her straight xx

  3. Oh darling, but people stood up for you. This makes my heart sink though, this shouldn't happen. The other week I told and old woman off for saying a boy (having a meltdown) needed smacking in a supermarket.

  4. You've reminded me of the post I wrote about our experience at the panto this year. Still feel very angry and hurt about that to be honest, just can't believe other people can be so intolerant. You're right though, we are better than them :) x


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