Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Relaxed Parenting

Firstly I would like to say that, until I wrote the heading, then looked it up....I didn't know this was an actual 'thing'.

There is a definition of relaxed parenting! I thought it was just me making an excuse for being slightly lazy!

As the parent of children with ASD you would think I would have everything planned down to the minute. But I don't. A day will come, too soon in my opinion, where my children have to face the real world. It's not a nice place to know sometimes, and things often don't go to plan.

Autistic children like routine, don't like changes. So do I keep everything structured and regimented, to keep the possibility of meltdowns to a minimum. 
No I don't.

The world isn't structured and regimented. Somethings are easy to keep the same all through your life. Waking up and having the same routine every morning is easy. I have had the same routine since RJ started school. It's a mad, crazy rush, but it works for us. Too much time is a really bad thing before school, idle hands and all that!

Bedtimes are loosely kept to a system. I can't even keep that the same all the time as hubby's shifts are not the same every week. Mostly tucking in to bed has always been daddy's job, as he has always worked long and awkward hours. It's his wind down time with the boys.

Apart from that, what routines can stay the same everyday? None that I can think of.

So instead of structure, I change things, and explain these changes to my children in a way they will understand. It's not easy, but I have learnt how to manage my boys behaviour, to keep problems to a minimum.

So I rarely drive the same route from hubby's work to home. I change the way we walk to school sometimes, depending on their mood. I make little changes, that might be hard today, for me, but will make their lives easier when they have to confront the world as adults.

So my plan this summer is for relaxed parenting. If we go anywhere, I will prepare them, as usual. Otherwise it will be playing it by ear........and weather.

Have you planned some summer fun? Or are you a 'relaxed parent', seeing what each day brings?

1 comment:

  1. I totally agree with relaxed parenting, for all kids.

    I have never ever followed a routine, and my kids are happy and healthy, would things be better with a routine, maybe, but we're all happy with life as it is so no regrets.

    My sis on the other hand, OMG she is like some crazy strict mother, she actually scares me! She won't deviate from her daughters routines FOR ANYTHING and oh my gosh if you dare to do something at the wrong time, watch out! This hardcore approach has led to 2 of her daughters having awful, sometimes violent reactions when there is the slightest change!

    Anyhoo, I'm waffling, but totally agree with you. Kids grow up too fast already, let them be kids!


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