I sometimes wonder if I'm letting my children down? Not in a self pitying 'I'm not a good mum' sort of way.
I know I'm a good mum in so many ways to my boys. They are well mannered, well behaved (most of the time), they are clean (some of the time). I absolutely adore them. I try to make sure they have they're homework done and they understand respect for their teachers etc.
They are always well fed, and normally we all sit together to eat our food. Not always possible, for example this week my hubby has been on afternoon shifts, for him that means working til midnight. So dinner tends to be all over the place, depending on his break. The youngest has a very limited diet, another thing most people don't know/don't realise about autism, the sensory issues around food. There will be some days that I will only be able to get him to eat crisps and bread. The worst thing you can tell me to do is leave him, he'll eat it when he's hungry!!! That one makes my blood boil!!
He doesn't understand that feeling!!! OK!
He will simply not eat, or just drink milk all day.
Right, now I've got that off my chest, the reason I feel I'm letting them down, Its the inactivity.
Little A and RJ are quite a handful when taken out. Neither are particularly aware of the dangers in wandering off, and neither are aware of where I am at any given moment. This means I genuinely need eyes in my ass if I want to take them anywhere. My eldest has always been a great help, but I feel that I can' t keep depending on him, he's 15 now and is already helping me more than enough. He has to live his life too!
Because of this I feel I've given up a bit. We tend to do very little outside anymore. We are very close at home and love sitting in a room together, enjoying TV and chatting. But I've lost my mojo for any activity, even in house activity!
Ugh, I hate admitting it, but maybe saying it aloud will get my mind back in gear.
I've been in so much pain for the last few months, with my legs, my physio finally starts next week so I may finally find out why my legs hurt.
That shouldn't stop me from getting out the paints, or materials, or anything that would be fun for the kids to do! If anything I should be doing more of it for goodness sake!
So here is me appealing for the blogging worlds help.
Stop me from failing my children, send me advise on cheap and easy things to do with my boys.