Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Toilet Training.....

Every parent goes through this with their children, when they hit the age of 2/3, right??
What happens when your child is nearing 5.......and there's absolutely NO sign of it happening soon?

This is where we are at.
I have tried every tactic advised. From the Autism specific training, where you focus on nothing but your child and the potty for a whole morning, this completely freaked little A out!
The best method was using the literary gem, little known I imagine, 'Poo goes to Poo land'.....Oh yes that one was super helpful! It brought the teen of the house to tears with laughter. Shocked the middle boy to laughter. Little A thought it was the best story he'd ever heard! Wanted to hear it over and over.  Wouldn't actually send dear Mr. Poo back though!
This morning, we ran out of pull-ups. We put the last one on him, but when he realised I was showering he decided he wanted a bath. This in itself is brilliant, as he goes through phases of refusing to get in there. So when he asks, he gets it, I'm hoping maybe he can 'store' the clean? That happens, right???
So anyway, I had to take his last pull-up off him. I thought I might try and use this opportunity to try toileting from another angle. I told him that it was his last nappy. He told me 'no, shop', so I told him that he was a big boy now and the shop didn't have them. But he's Autistic, not stupid.
I told him that he could use the toilet now, he said 'no', we get that a lot. I asked him if he wanted a wee, he said 'no', see. Then he got in the bath......
And pee'd....Yip!
How do I compete with this? I know to some it sounds lazy, defiant even, but its not, its just a complete misunderstanding of whats expected! I've tried all the tactics.  My middle boy was quite late toileting, as I've stated before, I didn't realise R had problems until little A came along, and the behaviours were similar.
In fact R was still wearing pyjama pants to bed until little A was about 18months. He realised what he was putting on was very similar to his brothers nappy, and refused to wear them anymore. We had a talk, and he understood, but he was almost 7 by this time!
The other thing with little A is, he's not bothered by wet/soiled Nappy's. The OT has even mentioned that it may give him sensory pleasure.
So how do I compete with this???
I guess I just keep looking for different strategies, but I've tried so many I'm running out of places to look!!


  1. Elliot was nearly 5 before we had any success, after several failed attempts from me hubby took over. He took his nappy off and put pants on him (I'd tried boxes before and I think he found them too loose fitting) then when he was desperate for a wee hubby put him on the toilet and held him there till he had no choice but to do it. I know this sounds cruel but it worked, it was the only way to get him to understand what he had to do. From then on he wee'd in the toilet. As for poo that is still very much work in progress, it was a whole year after weeing before he did a poo in the toilet, and it hasn't happened very often. He now flatly refuses to go in the toilet and will either poo his pants or do it in his night time nappy. I'm at a loss as to how to go forward with this, OT have been no help. Good luck and I hope you have success, I know how difficult it can be x

    1. Sometimes its easier just knowing that someone understands, thank you for your comment, and advice. It may come to drastic measures at some point x

  2. Oh you are NOT alone! Worst.period.in.my.life!!! Wish I had some helpful hints to pass along but I got nothing. :(

    Hang in there!

    1. I know a lot of it is worrying what others will think, just knowing people understand helps x

  3. I have a sneaky suspicion children do it in their own time like with most milestones. All mine were later than some and my daughther still has issues aged 8 at night. Try ERIC the charity who can help on all toileting, bedwetting, soiling issues. They have products and supportive information and forums. Hope that helps. Remember, you can only do what you can do and I don't believe there are any perfect parents out there.

    1. I've never heard of them, thank you!! x


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