Thursday, July 19, 2012

my worries and fears

I haven't written a blog in a couple of days. Lots going on and lots on my mind. Just needed to get my head in order or it would have been a jumbled mess!!

I completed my 10k Race for life!!! Not as hard as you'd think. My legs and ankle started to ache at around 5k but I pushed through like the trooper that I am!!
Maybe shouldn't of though as the next day I ended up in the local hospital, apparently I have strained my Achilles, on writing this I am finally able to put weight on my foot for the first time in several days!

This is not what has been worrying me....
Without being specific, my hubby has to go away for work for a bit. Not too long but it is the longest we've been apart since we met.........23years ago!!

This is where my worries and fears are. I should be concerned with looking after 2 children that demand  a lot of my attention and a 3rd who can be very emotional, but I'm not....
I'm more worried that I will cope, that doing it alone will be easier.
My hubby is a great daddy, but he genuinely can only do one thing at a time and struggles with his patience when they are shouting over one another with their demands...

I worry that I WON'T miss him!....This one has reduced me to tears. I know my hubby thinks I'm worrying because he's going, but I'm terrified I won't miss him!!
What if I get comfy being able to starfish in bed.
Or find it easier that I have a car (he currently has it to go back and forth to work), and that I don't have to arrange my day around his lunch hour?

The biggy that's really getting to me though....I'm Jealous!

Why should he get to go away and be single?! I know that he has to work, but when he finishes he won't have to think about feeding hungry mouths or what they'll be wearing the next day.

These things have worried me so much that I nearly typed this at 2am this morning, I can't sleep, I'm in tears!!!
My hubby always seems to be tired these days and we don't have a lot of time for each other, something that comes with 3 children, but especially when they have extra needs.

So those are my worries and fears.

Am I silly or justified.........



  1. I can only speak from experience and I felt exactly the same when my OH went on night's out or away. It didn't seem fair that he got to continue with his old life as it were whereas I was left holding the baby time and time again. OK, there were valid reasons why I couldn't but nevertheless I was envious that he could switch off even if it was for a few hours. We only have one child and find it a logistical nightmare at times to make sure we get some us time - I have no idea how we would do that add another one.

    You are normal I am sure. You may feel silly in how you feel but those feelings are real. Let him know how you feel, sometimes just talking about it gives you a different perspective. *hugs*

  2. I worry about telling him as I don't want to hurt his feelings!! Daft aren't I? Thank you for putting my mind at rest x

  3. I won't disown you, just mutter a few obscenitys about the youth of today!! Haha

    It's going to be 3 whole weeks that he'll be gone for! I feel slightly sick xx


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