Friday, December 21, 2018

Have a Merry Christmas

I think we can officially say that blogging every day in November, was a big fat fail! I got half way through, then life got in the way. 

I've wanted to come on since, to explain myself, it just never seemed to be the time.

There isn't really much of an explanation, I just haven't had the energy to do this. Looking after children with additional needs and a disabled hubby, can get bloody tiring.

So that's it really, I was bloody tired!

Monday, November 19, 2018

Monday Musings

As the winter rolls ever closer, and I go to bed even earlier, my mind feels the need to empty out all those random thoughts that keep me awake at night!

Why do we assume that family will be friends? I know that lots of families are close, but not all. There are some members of my family that I can't bare to be in the same room with?! I am not particularly close to my siblings, not through any animosity, they are nice humans, we just have very little in common. 

Why have we become so judgemental? Why do we have to have an opinion on peoples appearances, sexual preferences etc. If no laws are being broken and no children, or animals, are being harmed, carry on! Overweight people can be healthy, slim people can be unhealthy. I just think 'live and let live'.

Why is wanting to be a homebody such a bad thing? Even my mother wants to get me out of the house more! I like my house?! It's where I'm happiest. If my children want to travel, I say 'go for it', it's just not for me.

Photo by Luke Stackpoole on Unsplash

Then there is the BIG question:

Do I think disabilities, both seen and unseen, will ever truly be accepted?
This one I definitely can't answer. In my village, my son is accepted for who he is. In fact, many locals keep an eye out for him. I even had a call from my local shop, recently, because they thought he was in the school yard alone. That gives me such a good feeling. A feeling of hope. Hope that the future isn't a big scary place for my little man.

Much love

Friday, November 16, 2018

Feels like the end of an era!

I've got to be honest, I'm all over the place at the moment. My anxiety is playing up, I'm not sleeping, Mr. Ojo is in horrible pain all the time. On top of all that, I've had a lot of form filling, including Ajax's statement, for secondary education.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

I've questioned what sort of person I am, thanks to falling out with people, maybe I'm not the nice person I thought I was. I'm not sleeping well, my diabetes is all over the place. I could go on (and on, and on).

Probably not the best time to make big decisions, but I'm making them anyway.

I have been umming and arring, for a while, about leaving Slimming World. I wanted to leave a few weeks ago, but the mister, along with many others, talked me into staying. One of the main arguments, for staying, was that I would gain the weight I'd lost, back. However, the last few weeks, despite sticking to plan, staying to class, or dropping in an weighing: I've gained 2.5lb?!

I've been attending classes for, at least, eighteen months. I fought hard for the 2 stone I DID lose, now I'm stuck there. I wouldn't mind if I was near to target, but I'm not! In that time I've brought other people along, include him indoors, all of them are doing better than me. Mr. Ojo lost 3.5 stone, in just six months. 

I know I'm not supposed to compare my journey to others, but that is far easier said, than done.

Getting on those scales, in class, this week, was horrible. I'd gained another 1lb, despite being on plan. The mister had been to the rugby on the weekend, eaten nothing but pasties and chocolate, yet stayed the same! 

It was the final nail in the coffin, for my journey.

I'm not saying I'll stop, I'll just stop spending £5 per week on it. I honestly think the anxiety, of weighing, was making things worse. I'm wound up before I get on the scales, then thinking about my failure, when I get off...

That's not healthy!

So, it's been a blast SW, you've made me new friends, helped me slim down by 2 stone, but now our journey is over.

And breathe........