Sunday, June 17, 2018

A Weekly Catch up:

Phew! What a week. I'm going to try and catch up, once a week at least, because it really helps me to write it all out and move on.

It's been a bit of a busy week, school wise particularly. Monday was a bit of a struggle, to get Ajax there. We succeeded in the end, but he was not a happy boy and it was extremely hard to walk away. I'm forever grateful for his teachers that know him, well enough, to get him through these moments.

Tuesday we had sports day, my least favourite day of the year, if I'm honest. It was well organised this year, a type of round robin, so no one was left waiting around. They kept the special classes as one group, which made it much easier to keep Ajax in sight. He nearly lasted all morning, quite an achievement! 

He was not happy having to go back to school though, it was outdoor pursuits which meant more outdoors time for a little boy that would rather be indoors.

Wednesday Mr. Ojo and I had a couple of appointments, his was mid afternoon, which meant nanny picked Ajax up from school. This did not sit well with him, even though he knew well in advance. Even a McDonald's didn't cheer him up! Thursday was a chill day, where I got to spend the morning, having a Costa and shopping, with my mam.

Then on to Friday, it was meant to be Father's day activities, at the school. The problem with this day: Ajax finds it all a little overwhelming, and Mr. Ojo isn't physically able to do most of the activities any more. Naughty mam, I phoned the school, telling them he had a raging temperature! They normally end up sitting in a quiet corner reading a book, which they can do at home, so they just had a relaxed day instead.

On top of all this, RJ has had exams EVERY day, poor bugger. 


Basically, there's been too much for my boys. They've spent most of the time, at home, hidden in their own spaces. Neither has really wanted to interact, or be around people at all.

We've just left them to it, even today, which is Father's day.
Ajax came in this morning and said happy Father's day, without prompting, but honestly? He just wanted a cereal bar and a drink! RJ came in with gifts then spent a good half hour chatting with us, it was bloody lovely! I made the mister breakfast in bed, where we stayed for a while, why not?
Eldest boy called and was picked up, cue a marvel movie and roast dinner.

All in all it's been a lovely, peaceful, end to a chaotic week!

I hope you've all had a peaceful week?
Hopefully I'll get a chance to do this again, next week.

Wednesday, June 06, 2018

The First Week Back:

Well, what a first week it's been! (as in first week back, after the half term break). To say it's been fraught, would be an understatement.

In all honesty, I knew it was going to be rough on Sunday. I told my teen son to get in the shower, as it was back to school the next day........when I saw my little ones face change.

Bad mama, I'd forgotten to warn him, to prepare him. I don't know why I didn't, I think I was simply exhausted after a busy week. I usually start counting down, a couple of days before, so he doesn't get upset.

And, boy, did he get upset!

From the moment it dawned on him, he started getting worked up. There were tears, and lots of "I don't want to go to school tomorrow". He went to bed at the usual time, but wouldn't go to sleep, I fell asleep at, just before, midnight, he wasn't asleep then. Come the morning, he was difficult to wake up, when he did wake, he hid under his covers.

I tried every trick, that would normally work: Bribery, cajoling, threatening to remove technology. Nothing worked, it just got him more worked up. He is too big to physically lift and wouldn't get out of bed. I went up the school, to explain to his, understanding, teacher.

In the end we got him to agree to go in Tuesday, with a bit of persuasion.

Now, let's get one thing straight: School refusal, when your child is autistic, with other issues, isn't just a cantankerous child. If you witnessed the anxiety, almost terror, of going into something unprepared, you would understand. He's had this problem since he very first started, he doesn't particularly like leaving the house, at all.


So, Tuesday came, and went, in a surprisingly calm manner. He was prepared, morning routines were back to normal, he went in happy and smiling.

Wednesday morning was the same, until lunchtime. Because of my son's vulnerabilities, and the fact I live very close, I bring him home every lunchtime. He came out in tears, his teacher explained why (nothing serious), then he ran, all the way home. This meant I had to run all the way home. He won't stop when called, he has to be within grabbing distance, as he has no danger awareness, and there are roads to cross.

It took much persuasion, again, to get him back in the afternoon......but I did! I had to sit with him in reception, until one of his teachers could come get him. He was unresponsive, and very near tears, incredibly hard to walk away from. I was a little upset getting home, so messaged his teacher, his lovely teacher told me he was in class, and sent me a pic of him having fun, practising for sports day.


All in all, it's been an eventful start to the week!

Final word goes to Ajax, when I asked him why: "Sometimes I'm just not ready, and I miss you"

So, how do you cope when your child refuses to go to school?
Do they have additional needs?

Saturday, June 02, 2018

Half term week:

So, how as half term week been for you? (If you live outside the UK, half term week is the a week long break, in the middle of a school term). Has it been full of days out? Having fun in the garden? Maybe you are fortunate enough to have managed a little mini break?

Me? Oh, thanks for asking! 
I've done none of the above.

My week has been all about chasing my tail, while trying to spend time with all three of my, very different, boys.

Monday: Middle boy wanted to go to the gym, so we went for an hour. Then I came home and mowed the lawn, in the back garden nobody uses. I then hit 2 supermarkets, to get something for tea, as we realised we didn't have a ingredients for a full meal. (I would like to point out, I had slept downstairs the night before, on the request of Ajax).

Tuesday: I had promised middle boy a shopping day, in Cardiff city centre. It basically involved a day of rummaging around Primark and Matalan. In all honesty, it was lovely spending some 1 on 1 time with my teen, because he rarely leaves the bedroom! We got a good stash of new clothes, so he now has some that actually fit him. 

I came home to the still empty fridge, so shopping was desperately required. This is when my husbands knees gave out, and he couldn't move. Thankfully the teen came with me, and I got the weekly shop done, phew!

Wednesday: Most of this afternoon was spent at my eldest sons flat, cooking. He wants to learn to cook more, rather than living on takeaways. So the time was spent showing him the wonders of instant mash and frozen chicken, and just how many meals you can make out of them.

Thursday: I was seriously looking forward to spending time at home today, especially as this is where I could actually spend time with Ajax. My darling little one would never leave the house, if he could get away with it. In fact he's rarely even dressed. However, he reminded me that he wanted to go swimming. So 7:30pm, we ended up in the local swimming pool. I am glad we did, it really was a lovely hour, he talked to me more in that time than he usually does in a week. 

Friday: Nothing planned right.............wrong! Up early for slimming world, along with both boys. Ajax wanted to count his money, that he gets off his nan and granch, to see if he could afford a toy, as soon as we got home. All counted, he announced he wanted to go to the toy shop. Quite frankly, I'm so knackered by this point, he had no hope. Thankfully my hubby could do it.

Saturday: After a night of sleep, where I slept like the dead, a nice lie in would be perfect......wrong again!! My dad and his partner were visiting, since they moved, last year, we don't see them as much. So, up I got, and dressed, far earlier than I really wanted to. After they left, I run the mower over the garden again, you know, the one that no one uses!

Basically, if anyone wants me tomorrow, they can f**k off!
(unless they are bringing me a cake, or a Costa, then I'll love you forever)


So I hope you're enjoying your, picture perfect, half term........really!