Thursday, March 23, 2017

Middle Age Musings

I'm not worried about being middle aged, my next birthday I turn 44, but it has made me realise I see things slightly differently. I'm not sure how much of it has to do with getting older, or if it's exhaustion related, thanks to children of various ages.

I was planning on spoiling my mam this mothers day, with a nice dinner and her favourite cake. With this came discussions about a drink at the table, I actually said the words 'No, I don't want wine, I don't like the way it makes me feel'(?!!). I actually realised I haven't had a drink since New Years eve, and then it was only one after my eldest (19) was home. Who am I?? I do crave a night out, but when the chance arrives I simply don't have the energy.

I mean, I don't feel old, I actually feel quite sprightly. I just feel like I'm (gulp) growing up. I know I don't look like a grown up, however, with my unicorn hair! 

What else has changed?

Then and Now

Celebrity Crushes Then: In my teens it would have been whatever rock star had long hair and tight jeans. Now: Probably Philip Scholfield, the silver fox. I even think Bradley Walsh has the cheeky cockney thing sorted! 
I look at pop stars now and my maternal thing switches on, nothing else.

Television Then: It was all about Top of the Pops, and Saturday morning hijinks. Now: It's still Saturday morning, now it's Saturday kitchen though. I'm a huge fan of This Morning and I love a good, edge of the seat, drama. Thankfully, I'm still not a soap fan, I do detest them.

Nights Out Then: Regularly down the pub, it helped that I worked behind a bar for a while. Also, anything that involved a band. It was all too much make up, too much hair and too much alcohol. Now: Honestly, I wish I still had the energy to go see some bands. I still love a night out, these days I'm lucky if it's once a year. 

Reading: Then: It had to be music magazines, or anything that had free lippy! Also loved a bit of a naughty book, Mistrals Daughter was one of my favourites. Now: Give me a blanket and a kindle, I'm a happy bunny. Love a good thriller, something I can lose myself in.

Food Then: Oh I was so bloody fussy! My veg had to be raw, didn't eat a cooked vegetable until I was 16. For a few years, my favourite food was a bowl of rice and sweetcorn, nothing else, just that. Now: I'll try anything, if I'm honest. I love experimenting, in the kitchen, I actually have herbs and spices that I use. My Chinese 5 spice is in date! (although I do still love rice and sweetcorn).

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Does all this mean I'm growing up? I'm not sure. I think we just see things differently as we get older. As my eldest child gets ready to leave home I'm wondering how he will change. 
Will he eat something other than pasta or pizza? 
Will he actually be on time for something, anything?? 
Will he have some month left, at the end of his money?

All these things I've learnt as I've grown up, now I get to sit back and laugh as he has to do the same.


Monday, March 20, 2017

I'm Still Here!

Oops, I slipped again, didn't I?

I've had a lot on my mind, this past week. Nothing bad, or upsetting, just busy. Since requesting help for Ajax, and professionals actually listening, the appointments have been non stop.

There's been Hydrotherapy, his wheelchair being delivered, school meetings.........that's just this week! We have more advice on his toileting issues and a dietitian appointment coming. Add to that, the car had to be serviced, new hair colours for me, and a the day to day stuff, my mind has been elsewhere.

Today, my gorgeous boys chair turned up:

Let me explain my little boys need for this (I know I don't have to explain myself, but this blog would be pretty pointless if I didn't!). He CAN walk, he just struggles if it's any distance. He has hyper mobility, but not all over, just in certain limbs. His legs struggle and hurt if he does too much, his hands also ache. Add to that, he is also a sensory seeker. This means he likes to be in constant motion, being in a chair means he actually LIKES leaving the house. This is a big deal for us as a family, as getting him outside is a huge struggle.

A car ride with Ajax is the perfect way to show his sensory seeking. He has to have rock music on, really loud, the window has to be wide open, regardless of the weather. He also rocks and flaps the whole time. I often wonder what people would think, if they looked at our car (I don't actually care, I just wonder how mad we look!).

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This week has also been a bit of a revelation to Mr. Ojo. He tried to walk a bit, while having the car serviced, he ended up suffering for days. It has made him realise that if we are going to go anywhere, he would be best using a wheelchair too. He enjoys the fresh air, but not the pain that comes with it! So going out as a family is going to be fun, 2 wheelchairs, 2 able bodied, we'll have our hands full!

My eldest son is packing his room up, ready to move out. Everyone expects me to be sad, that one of my babies is leaving, but I'm not. I simply think he's ready, it's time for him to spread his wings.

So, as you can see, my mind has been elsewhere.

I will leave you with the news that I am now 9lb down, in 4 weeks. I've had my colours done again:

Also a promise, that I will be back again soon, I won't forget Ojo's world!

Friday, March 10, 2017

The weight loss minefield:

How the hell do women know that they are losing weight or not? This is something that's been bothering me for quite some time, so expect a short rant:

We are often told to ignore the scales, they don't give an accurate portrayal. This I have found to be very true, in the past. I've weighed on my own scales, the doctors scales AND other scales........they all say something different. Unfortunately scales can be calibrated differently, so who knows which ones are actually telling the truth? (However, I am now going to Slimming World, which does depend on the scales!?).
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Another thing we can then turn to the BMI, but wait, that's wrong too isn't it? If you went by that, most sports people, especially the ones that depend on more muscle mass, would be obese. Your BMI is a reflection of your weight and height, so if you are quite muscular, yet 5' 4", you would be morbidly obese. 
Also, who has time for that shit!?

Hmmm, so that's out then.

OK then, let's go shopping then. Oh wait, if we go to a supermarket and buy clothing, for example, in a size 18 and it fits, I'll feel great! So I'll go shopping again, maybe this time I'll go to a high street shop. Wait, what!?!? Why am I suddenly a size 22 in this shop!? Oh, it's made in a different country, by a different manufacturer, blah blah blah.
So that's finding a size, that fits, out then.

Let's see if we can work out why women are so body conscious, shall we?

I actually have a drawer full of clothes, they mostly say size 18, yet they are all totally different sizes, which is utterly ridiculous. My aim is to fit into them, one at a time.

Honestly, being a woman, trying to lose weight, sucks!
Do men have this problem?
Do you think there should be an, obvious, universal sizing?

I, for one, will be gutted if I finally lose weight, walk into a shop, only to find I still need a size 18.