Friday, December 30, 2016

New Year, New Me?

I have read so much negativity regarding the 'New year, New me' resolution, this season on social media. Don't get me wrong, I've never been a part of it, but I don't complain about those that do....it's their life, surely?

However, this year I'm wondering if it's worth a go. I've never done it before, and this year has been a big fat fail, regarding my health/wellness.


My mental health has suffered a big dip, I'm in a real funk that I can't shake. My anxiety has gone through the roof, this past year, too. I'm scared to leave the house, not because of fear for myself, but for those I love. Last year Mr. Ojo had a fall in the bath, which has taken a year to recover from. He stumbles sometimes, around the house, as his knee gives up. What if I'm not here when it happens? Who's going to catch him??

Then there's Ajax, I'm up the school 4 times a day, as he comes home for lunch. I worry about him being on the yard at lunch time, there's only 4 dinner ladies and I don't think they are trained to deal with special needs, it just leaves me too nervous. He's a wanderer, what if he wanders out of the gate? Then there's the toileting issue, he's now doubly incontinent and won't let anyone change him, except me and Mr. Ojo, so I have to be nearby in case of bigger accidents.

All this has led to me leading a very insular life, I live simply for my family.........I forgotten how to live for me.

So this year will be a new me! I'm going to focus on my fitness again. As the year has gone on, I've gradually stopped doing the things I love, through fear and anxiety.

I haven't been to Zumba for months, something I truly loved. I haven't been to the gym, my place to unwind.

Food wise, I'm doing fine. I still listen to my Thinking Slimmer each night, and letting my mind and body take control of what I eat, when I'm full etc.

I also think I need to say 'NO' more. I need to to put myself first, not stress over other peoples problems. There are people in my life that I truly care about, that aren't family, but outside of them, it's time to use the N word. In the last year, I've removed myself from some people that make me feel negative, I think that needs to continue this year coming. I'm not saying that these people are bad, just that they make ME feel negative.

Another plan for the coming year is to give this page a bit more love! I have had, apart from the odd post, a whole year off and I miss it! My anxiety got the better of me here, too. I felt like it was distracting me from my family. However, my family shouldn't have 100% of me! That's not healthy either.

So expect a little more Ojo this year.

If you don't agree with the whole 'new years resolution', that's fine! 
This year I feel like I need it, for the first time ever.

Onwards and upwards!

4 comments:

  1. Aww! Bless you! You have had a lot to deal with over the last year....I hope you manage to find more time for you next year! Wishing you all the best for 2017 x

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  2. Sounds like a positive move to me. Be much easier on yourself too. You don#t have to try to meet any standard except the ones you set for yourself and if you listen to me, you will lower those ones too

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  3. Whoop! Glad to hear you are grabbing the bull by the horns 😄 I've joined a gym too! I think we do need to look after ourselves and treat ourselves a bit too, in order to have the energy to do all the caring. Hope 2017 is good to you xx

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  4. It'll be lovely to have you back blogging more it's on my agenda soon. You are so right about saying no more often and not giving your whole self to everyone. Hope you manage to find yourself a bit more this year xxx

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