Monday, June 06, 2016

Does it make me selfish!?

So, this is a very honest post. If you are related to me in some way, I apologise in advance if this upsets you. 

I don't like celebrating my birthday.
In fact I hate it (and I rarely use the word hate).
Before anyone says it, it's not about age. I'm quite proud that I am hitting 43 this year, it's better than the alternative!


I don't share my birthday on Facebook, I don't share it anywhere. I don't like the falseness of the birthday wishes off people who wouldn't have a clue, if it wasn't for social media. That doesn't mean I don't like people, I do. I have communication with all on my list, but do you know my birthday without FB? 
It's also why I rarely send greetings to others, if I'm likely to see you I would rather say it to your face. I would rather know how your day is going, what your plans are, than a simple 'happy birthday hun'...........meaningless.

I don't have many birthday memories. I remember having dress up parties, when I was very young. I just about remember my 18th, it was nothing big, just a day drinking in Cardiff with my, then, best friend. That birthday was overshadowed by a surprise birth (not for me, my niece was born). My biggest birthday memory, which is not a good one, was my 13th. In the run up, my life kind of fell apart. There's no point in sharing details on here, it's too personal. Then my 16th, where I sat my last GCSE, and decided to move out.

My family has never been big on birthdays, my brothers barely remember their own, never mind anyone else's! I grew up spending my few pennies buying my mam a little gift, usually a pair of tights, then my brothers asking to put their name on it! Both my brothers now live away, I think it's their wives that remember and send flowers. My mother will kill me for sharing this, but one year they managed to send the same arrangement, from different parts of the country!?

Now I think the most important gifts don't cost a fortune, but a bit of thought goes a long way. I think both my parents would rather have a bit of time with us as a family, than a gift that takes up space and they have little use for.

That's the other thing I hate about my birthday, the gifts. 
It sounds stupid, but I hate the idea of people spending their money on me. 
What if I don't like it?! I then have to pretend I do, because it becomes about the giver, not the receiver (me).

I've spent the last 3 birthdays in London, where no one knew, unless I told them. It was fabulous! I was in a hotel, so I could eat what I chose, relax when I wanted to, talk when I want to. 
My needs are simple, give me peace, give me memories.

Does it make me selfish? 
Do you like a big fuss made of your birthday?

1 comment:

  1. I think you make a lot of good points and I totally agree that it is your birthday, your day, so you are entitled to celebrate it in the way that you choose - it is not a day for other people to do things that make themselves feel better.

    But I do wish people Happy Birthday on social media if I know it's their birthday, so Happy Birthday, and I really mean it too xx

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