That is how I feel, right now, writing this post. It's just been one of those days.
It didn't help that I didn't get any sleep last night, thanks to stressing about little A's first school trip, without me. I have always been asked to accompany the class in previous years, as A was in a mainstream class. It meant that attention didn't need to be taken from other children if little A struggled to cope.
He is now in Primary school, and in a nurturing type class, where there are only around 8 per class, with 2 teachers. This meant that there was a good ratio of teachers to children, for the class trip, and I wouldn't be needed.
No big deal, you think?
He doesn't tell people if he's hurt, he runs and hides. His sensory issues seem to be getting worse, and yesterday he flat out refused to join in with the class Xmas play. I was a nervous wreck, to the point of tears (which I managed to hold in, until I got to a friends house).
Thankfully the school has a good online presence, which meant I was kept updated all day. He had a great day, even though he refused to have his pic taken for me!
Unfortunately, those sensory issues raised their head by the end of the trip. A little accident meant I had to go straight up, change him, bring him home, and bath him.
However, he did enjoy it.
To keep me, and Mr. Ojo, busy through the day, we got on with the Xmas wrapping (we actually got it all done). This was disturbed by my teen having a major anxiety meltdown, half way through the college day.
He's been through some major stuff, the last few months (not my story to tell) and his anxiety is through the roof. He was always an anxious child, always worrying about others, as well as himself.
His last school didn't really help matters, by constantly offering help, but never following through with it. He's currently looking at his personal statement for Uni, when he got to college today he discovered it was supposed to be completed, today.
It sent his anxiety through the roof.
We've talked about it, at length, over the last few weeks. Today was the final nail in the coffin, he's not ready. He's had a dreadful year, so far, he needs to get himself sorted before he even considers furthering his education.
So, from June, he will be looking for a job, get himself some cash, live a bit of life, before deciding the next step.
As his mother, it is my job to protect him, to help him decide what is for the best. This is what's for the best.
By the time I had collected all the boys, from the various places, talked to them, calmed them, and Mr. Ojo had one of them cleaned up, I was mentally exhausted.
This parenting lark is far from easy.