I've always been very open on my blog, and my real life, about my battle with depression. It has been ongoing since my teens, and I think I will battle with it for the rest of my life.
Saying that, I am proud of how well I've held it together recently. There's been a lot going on and I've battled my way through. I've kept smiling, keeping my children smiling. They have really had to witness the dark side of people in the last week, something no mother wants.
I have encouraged and supported. I've kept it together, even when my head was going at a 100 mph.
Then today, I went to sewing class, as usual. I am making a vintage style dress, that my sewing teacher knew I would love. The pattern she found is gorgeous, unfortunately a little small, so I've needed to make it bigger.
It's not as easy as it sounds, and I was struggling to 'get it' today. Which is when the dam burst.
Yup, I lost it. I did get out of the class quick enough, so that it wasn't witnessed by everyone.
But, what a silly thing to break me!?
It is a good thing though. My head feels clearer now I've got it out. Now I'm not pasting on the smile, I mean it.
Don't hold it in, let it all out. Find a space (even if it is the toilets), and let it out.
Tomorrow the smile will be real.