Monday, October 05, 2015

Day 5

Day 5, otherwise known as the day the wheels came off. I shall explain:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Food:

Breakfast: Poached egg on toast
Lunch: Oven chips and leftover gravy, from yesterday, 2 slices of bread
Dinner: 3 Marmite sandwiches
Snacks: 2 finger kit kat, bacon grills and a bag of radish.
(Way too many Carbs today)

Exercise:

I was all set to exercise today, at Zumba. Then the wheels fell off!

General Well Being:

This is where they came off. I was exhausted again. After a week of iron tablets, which I still think are working, I couldn't stay awake all day. By 5pm I was out on my feet, so Mr. Ojo sent me to bed. After the nap, I'm still very tired. I'm hoping it's hormonal. 

Mental Health:

My youngest boy came out of school in floods of tears today, that knocked me for six. Being autistic means he wouldn't tell us why. It took us quite a while to calm him, and we still don't fully understand why he was upset. That doesn't make for a happy household. 
I should of seen it coming, it was a rough start today, too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wanted this month to be utterly truthful, today proves it. I do suffer with depression, days like today make it worse. I feel like a failure for not knowing what's wrong with my son, worse because it was daddy that fixed it, not me.

Life isn't perfect, is it?


8 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear you're down and having a tough time Jo, well done for being honest about it too! I hope both you and your boy are in a better place soon . xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Leanne, the good comes with the bad, thankfully x

      Delete
  2. You must NOT blame yourself for not knowing what's wrong with your boy! It could be any number of things! And hard as it is, you won't always be the fixer. I know that might hurt but as long as he's made better by someone then that's the most important thing. I am talking from experience because both my children prefered Daddy. Gus only prefers me now because Joni is such a Daddy's girl and I'm the favourite by default! And that hurt but I had to suck it up! :(((( As for wheels coming off with fitness and health....Jo you being knock down tired is not good and not normal. You obviously have some health thing going on and battling against that with diet and exercise must be really really tough. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! OK??? You are waaaaaaaaay too hard on yourself. If you need a bloody kitkat and a snooze then do it. Remember not to feel guilty about the choices you make because it's such a waste of emotion. You've done great so far. You will again, you just need to get to the bottom of the energy sapper. OK i will shut the hell up now cos this is an essay of pure bossiness! I hope i've made you feel a *bit* better though?! HUGS XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Jess, you summed it up perfectly. I just want to be the fixer! xx

      Delete
  3. Well done for talking about it. It always helps to talk about things and that's normally the first step to feeling better. I'm sorry you're feeling so down but please don't beat yourself up over it. You're a fab mum and you can't blame yourself about what was wrong with your son. I know how horrible it is when they daddy fixes things, you end up feeling really bad about yourself but hey I always just think as long as their happy that the main thing. As for diet and exercise they are 2 very hard things to keep up. Well done for keeping going and you're entitled to fall off the bandwagon at times. Keep your chin up! You're doing great :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the support, it means the world to me xx

      Delete
  4. Awww, I just want to give you a great big hug! So sorry to hear you had a rubbish day. I hope you can get some answers as to the tiredness - everything is so much harder when you are exhausted. I can relate with the Daddy thing... same in my house with my youngest. I find it really upsetting as the stay-at-home parent. I'm not surprised you reached for the Kit Kat! Everything in moderation and don't beat yourself up for it - sometimes it's just what we need! Take care Jo and good on you for writing about it xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. I want to document this month honestly, this was how I felt xx

      Delete

I do love comments and read them all, please be nice and tboughful to others x