A lot of the time, when I write these posts, I get a lot of comments and messages full of support. I appreciate every single one of them, but it's genuinely not why I do it.
The messages I love the most are the ones that say 'I feel like that. Thanks for making me realise I'm not alone'. Or of that ilk, anyway.
You see I'm battling with myself, and my own brain at the moment. My anxiety levels are through the roof, I'm worrying about everything.
I'm worrying about money. Hubby being off work means purse strings are tight. If you were to look at my finances, objectively, you would wonder why I worry sho much!? I know we're ok, but I'm so worried.
I'm worried about him being in pain. He's walking on a stick, I won't let him drive, or walk very far. Poor bugger is going stir crazy!
I'm feeling so negative in myself too. I'm feeling useless, incapable. I'm sick of struggling with my weight, it's a constant battle, that I cannot win. I feel tired all the time. I see the new advert *This Girl Can* and I think.......No, this girl can't! I can't take this blubbery mess anywhere, because people would laugh at me.
So if you're feeling like that, feel free to message me. Life sucks sometimes, our brains suck sometimes. If you suffer with depression, you know that there is no fix.
I'll get there, I think maybe I need a break. Which I'm getting this weekend.
Maybe I need to get out more. Actually, scrap that, I DO need to get out more. Again, something I can do this weekend.
So there you have it. Me purging again. I'm battling my own brain again, another bout of negativity. As you all know, it won't last, thankfully!
Thanks in advance for any support, I'm always grateful for it.