Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Am I Judgemental?

I have been asking myself this question quite a lot lately. It came to light again the other day. I was chatting to my mum in her garden as I was leaving, when someone came up to the gate to say something to my her, and I intentionally turned away! 

This 'someone' was someone I knew from school days. She always bothered with the same set of catty girls..........still does in fact. Although most of those girls have changed, I cannot shake the feeling that she hasn't. 

I take one look at her and the same hatred simply bubbles to the surface. Don't get me wrong, she never bullied me (she had a go at saying something the one day, but I never really cared, so she didn't take it further). I just didn't like the sort of person she was, what she represented......and apparently I still don't.

I have spoken to her in passing, in the past. That was when I was a timid, frightened, person though. I am not that woman anymore and cannot shake the feeling that she is still the same person.

So does that make me judgemental, or just unable to leave the past behind?

I have always been very quick to judge people, but that is partly because I am a very good judge of character, I am rarely wrong. I tend to look at peoples faces and know if they are warm and affectionate, or if they are shy. I can normally tell if they are outright horrible people, then I stay away.

So, I probably am judgemental.........But is that such a bad thing?
I don't think it is, not if I am only doing it for self preservation, not to be horrible to people.

Are you judgemental? Do you think it's good or bad?
I would love to hear opinions on this.

6 comments:

  1. I think our natural radar makes us judgmental to be honest. Like you are am generally a good judge of character and yes the catty ones are best to avoid. I think you also naturally make judgments on what you felt in the past.

    Generally I am pretty open to lots of different people far more than most, so my judgment tends to be a bit different I guess. Again though that is from things I have learned in the past!

    Then if you wrote this then perhaps you are wondering whether you are getting it wrong with this person though I suspect you are not! x

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    1. I don't think I am wrong about this person. I do think it's natural to judge people a little, this is self preservations I think x

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  2. I think I'm very similar to you! I can tell if people are warm and kind just from looking at their faces and demeanour and I'm rarely wrong! Once I told a very good friend that I didn't like her new friend, which didn't go down well at all! I still stand by my feelings that this woman isn't a nice person - she is shallow and will go through the motions of being 'nice', but I can tell that's all it is.
    And if people were horrible as teenagers, are they likely to have transformed completely as adults? I don't think so! They might be a bit nicer and better behaved, but fundamentally they're still the same people deep down inside.

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    1. I have stopped bothering with people, because new friends have pinged my radar. I am rarely wrong. I really don't think this particular girl has changed x

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  3. It mystifies me when "judgemental" came to be a negative word. Can we not judge someone to be lovely? We all have to decide who we trust and want to be friends with, and if that makes us judgemental, then I'm definitely that too.

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    1. Good for you! I think I shall where my 'judgemental' hat with pride, from now on xx

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