Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Parenting Guilt

I went away last weekend.
I went without my children.

Did you gasp, or cheer then?
Or did you think 'oh, there's lovely, but I could never do that?'

Leaving the children. It's a dividing debate isn't it? So many people sit in judgement. You have the parents that have never had a night away alone, since having their children. Then you have parents that are out every weekend, without batting an eyelid at leave their children with grandparents.

I actually don't fall into either of those categories, I fall into the 3rd category.........

PARENTAL GUILT

I know there are a few of you out there that know exactly what I mean. The feeling that you don't have the right to leave them, I mean you gave birth to them, you wanted them..........now you want to leave them?!
How very dare you! (In your own head)

I had many an argument with myself, in the weeks running up to the actual time away. For a start, I am a parent of children with additional needs, one of the things my 2 youngest struggle with is change. Mom is always home, she can always be found. I don't think that's a bad thing, just the way I have brought them up, my choice. But what happens if they don't adapt to mom not being there? 

We had to tell little A for weeks before, that nanny would be in mom's bed, that when he came looking for me, early hours of the morning, I wouldn't be there (guilt).

I worried that my mum couldn't cope. She is a very capable lady, but she brought her children up. Now I am expecting her to give up her time to look after my children! (more guilt). I would like to point out, it was actually my mums idea, so the guilt is completely unnecessary...........but still there.

Why should I need a break? Am I saying my children are hard work, and a break is needed from them? (yes, but more guilt).

So is the guilt justified? Do you think we deserve a break, as parents?
Or do you think we should just shut up and get on with it?

As it turns out, my boys and my mum had a lovely weekend. She always stays at mine when looking after the boys, to keep change to a minimum. The boys are used to her being around too (now I am justifying myself).

I had a wonderful break too. Weston-Super-Mare is a lovely place to go, some lovely places to eat, even better places to walk. Here are some of the lovely photos I took:

The view from my hotel room
On a wall outside a shop, I thought it was awesome


An intriguing light in town

 
 Views from the pier.

Finally, me and the Mister.

My advice: Yes you will feel guilty, but do it anyway!

8 comments:

  1. I always find it nice to go away without the children and come back super refreshed and ready to take on being a parent once more!

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    1. I think I agree, and its definitely what I would tell other parents x

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  2. I think a break is important sometimes because you can come back relaxed, refreshed and ready to have more fun with your kids. I say banish that parental guilt (I get it too) and have a bit of fun for yourself. :)

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    1. It's not easy, banishing that guilt, but I really did enjoy the break x

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  3. Oh i know this feeling. But it's good to get away from time to time. Hope you both had a good time!

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  4. I think time away from children is really needed sometimes and makes us better mums. Plus our little ones get spoiled rotten on their own little holiday. I need to muster up the courage to do it overnight! :)

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    1. You must! If I can do it, anyone can xx

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