I wasn't going to write a post today, I had nothing to say. However, as the day has gone on, something is playing on my mind.......and this is the only place I can talk about it.
I am going to break a big parenting taboo, this is my big fat parenting fail.
Tomorrow, my sons yr 1 class is going on a school trip, to a farm. When we received the letter about it, I had my concerns, so I took them to the teaching assistant that lets them in in the morning. I was concerned because, although my son functions so well in the classroom (even though he is a little behind in learning terms), sometimes it's easy to forget he needs extra help.
If you take him out you have to tell him where you are going all the time, he will wander off otherwise. He has very little focus when in a stimulating area. So in a farm he's likely to go where ever his whim or fancy takes him. I was concerned that, although they have a very high ratio of adults to children, he might get lost in the midst.
They listened to my concerns, and asked if I'd like to join them, be little A's 1-2-1, so to speak. What do you think I said to this? Well yes, obviously!? Right?!
Here comes the fail......
I really don' t want to go!! Really, REALLY don't want to go.
I also don't want him to go without me.
I know he needs the extra help, I know I can do it. There are a couple of reasons why I don't want to go.
Firstly. When does someone else take control? Am I going to go to every school trip, just so he can go?? This is still going to make him stand out.......none of the other mothers are going. Children are going to notice this.
Secondly. The last time I went on an arranged trip with little A, to a farm, it was an utter nightmare! It was when he was in a special nursery. When it was time to leave, it took us 45 minutes to get him in the mini bus, in full meltdown. Then 2 of us to hold him in his car seat, so we could get home. It is a horrible day, that I never want to repeat.
Finally. Children can be cruel, they don't mean to bully, they're too young for that. They do think it's ok to name call, until they are corrected. It's how children learn right from wrong. However, I am quite protective of my boys (aren't all parents), I'm not sure I can cope if I hear it! I am not sure I would be able to bite my tongue if I heard it, but it's not my role to say anything, I am going for little A, not to be responsible for anyone else.
So, I'm not sure what I will do in the morning. If he turns around and says he doesn't want to go............what should I do? I honestly don' t think I'm strong enough to push him to go, when I am not relishing the thought myself..........
x Ojo x