Friday, August 02, 2013

My Issues

I had actually written a post about the new prince, that I was going to publish today. My plans changed though, after spending yesterday evening with 2 friends.

I shall give you a little background. A few of us have fallen together in the last 2 years, we all went to the same school. When we were at school, none of us actually hung around together. I had known 1 of them since I was a very young child, but as we had grown, we'd fallen into a different set of friendships, as you do. The rest of us were no more than passing acquaintances. 

I genuinely can't remember how we came together, aside from Facebook being involved. The unusual thing about us, I suppose, is that we have very little in common. We are a blend of single parents, married parents and not parents. Most of the time it's a very good blend.

Anyway, back to last night. I went over for coffee at E's house, with L. I shall leave it at initials, they'll know who they are anyway, as they are  both readers. Somehow we got onto conversation about going abroad, I think it was me that started it. 3 of them had gone abroad together this year, and I'd said I didn't want to go on a girlie trip abroad.

This ended up becoming one of he best therapy sessions I could possibly asked for!

They are both hardworking. L is one of the most chilled people I know. E is very spiritual.........I am neither, not really. I mean I can be chilled and I do have my personal beliefs, but it's not the same.

They really made me realise that I don't have issues with other people, just me.

I have such bad self esteem that I think people look down on me. They made me realise that the problems I have with others is not the way they see me, but the way I think they see me. Which is really how I see myself! 

I know I have lot of work to do on myself, but it was a bit like someone turning on a light.

Now I just have to convince myself to see in the mirror what others see! 


2 comments:

  1. I find I am afraid of making new friendships precisely because of that reason - again it is how I see me rather than how they see me just like you say. Thankfully all my lovely wonderful friends that I have had for ages stick by me whatever I am going through or however I see myself. I love your blog header picture of the birds. looks fab. xxx

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  2. Oh I wish I could give you that self-esteem, as I'm sure many of those around you who love you do too. But it has to come from within and that's so hard. But you have just done the hardest part in realising it, so hats off to you lovely lady. Hope the coming weeks/months see you slowly build that confidence in yourself xx

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