Friday, August 23, 2013

Exams. Results. Depression......

Yesterday my eldest boy had to pick up his exam results. They were not his GCSE's as such, but they are towards it. He is doing full science, so each section has 3 exams, that's 9 exams in total. Yesterday he picked up the results for the 1st set.

He was so anxious going. He knew he had messed up his Physics. He was awake, up and dressed, ready to go by 9.30 am. He had to pick them up between 9 and 12.

It was 11.30 when he finally left the house.

He had company to go with him, his cousin was down for a few days, so she went along. His 10 year old brother also wanted to go, I think he was glad of the distraction.

I cannot ever remember him being so nervous. Yes they were important. Yes they were towards his GCSE. 

But they were his 1st set, there is a lot he can change over the next year, if he didn't get the results he really wanted. 

I made a point of explaining this. Also explaining that I knew he had done his best. I knew that he was very nervous taking 'proper' exams for the 1st time. I wanted him to think of this as a 'warm up', if he wasn't happy, he had time to do something about it.

There were lots of children having to pick up results yesterday, there were those picking up the same ones as my son, there were also a lot of children picking up GCSE results.

I use the word children a lot, as we should remember, that is what they are, they have not lived in the 'real world' yet. They have not experienced the lows that life can throw at you.........or the real highs.

My son walked away with 1 A, 1 B and 1C. I was incredibly proud of him, but he was disappointed that the B was just 2 marks away from an A. I hadn't even noticed that at 1st! But my reaction was completely the opposite, I thought being 2 marks away was amazing! 

There were so many posts on facebook saying how proud of their children they were, wonderful.

Then................Last night my feed started to fill with people asking what had happened on Blackwood Bridge (I used a picture of it once, for a SilentSunday). There were posts about police being there, of  cars parked along it.

Unfortunately, living so closed to the bridge, we know what this means.

It means someone has either attempted, or successfully committed, suicide.

Rumours are that it was a young female, possibly over her exams.

I don't know who, or why, I am not going to attempt to dissect, or second guess, any of it.

It just makes me so sad, that someone saw that as an only option. If it was her exams, the expectations she must of put on herself, must have been crippling.

We are so quick to judge those who do this. I just think it is incredibly sad, that a young woman, in our day and age, felt she had no where else to turn. That there was no one to talk to, no one that she felt she could trust, about the level of anguish she was going through.

Tonight, if you have a teen, give them an extra hug. Tell them THEY matter, not a piece of paper. Remember to support, encourage, LOVE

It broke my heart, that some family had to listen to that news last night, most likely coming from a complete stranger. Especially as, at the time of reading it, I had 2 teens in my house.

If you know someone that is feeling alone, please talk to them, you don't know how much that might mean.

I wanted to leave this post, with this link......
Someone will listen, don't think there's only one way.

God bless to that girls family, who are probably, sat tonight, asking WHY? xxx

7 comments:

  1. How awful! We put children under such pressure when life is tough enough at that age with racing hormones and crisis of personality! Sounds like your boy did well - I hope he can be happy with his effort x x

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    1. I hope my children can always come to me, I'm proud of everything they do x

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  2. Oh Jo, how utterly dreadful. I do hate the pressure that is piled onto our teens, especially at what is an already difficult time in their lives with so many body and hormonal changes, the desire to be treated like an adult, but inside they are still a child. That poor family will be in a living hell right now and it is such a tragedy that poor girl couldn't see any alternative. Just awful.

    I am so glad that your boy did so well and I hope that he will realise too that he can achieve his dreams no matter what is on a piece of paper xx

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    1. It's horrible Nichola, I have since read that it was an older female, but my feeling about it still stays the same. The poor family must be going through hell xx

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  3. So sad when people feel their life is no longer worth anything. Life is always so precious, I can't imagine how a family deals with this kind of thing. Two people I knew growing up have recently committed suicide, and their famillies really have no idea why. I just can't comprehend it! Makes me want to hold my children tight and never let go!

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  4. Straight from the start of secondary school the kids are under too much pressure and I certainly don't agree with pushing kids for early exams. There is too much emphasis on good grade yet not all kids are academic! There are jobs/ careers etc for everyone's tastes yet kids are left feeling like failures when they don't hit 'the mark'!! So sad really :(

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  5. Gosh this is so sad Jo. I cannot bear to think of some young girl feeling her world was ending over this. As you say, all of these things can be rectified. Children should never feel that what they DO makes them worthwhile. It's who they ARE that counts. A reminder for us all. So sad :( Congratulations to your boy though. x

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