Friday, May 31, 2013

How I've Changed...

It's coming up to a year that I've been doing this blog. It's got me thinking about me, because that is what this blog is about. 
It's a little bit of me, amongst everything that goes on in my life.  

I find it hard to be me, well, anywhere! Which is why I started this blog, almost a year ago. It is a little bit of me. I have written about my ups and downs. As the year has gone on, I've found my feet. I've started writing about the food I like to cook, sharing the pictures of my, not so perfect, cake. Also sharing my, not so perfect, crafting.

The thing I've learnt the most about in the last year is, not so perfect, is OK! 

I have realised I don't have to be perfect. 

Some times I lose my patience with the kids, any one who says otherwise is probably lying.
I love to craft and cook, but I'll show you the good and the bad!

I have had some real tough moments in the last year, and in all honesty I've shared very few of them with you. This is my place to escape. Maybe I should share them, but even though people have really hurt me, I can't hurt them! Stupid I suppose, but that's me, and I hate the thought of people not liking me!

I've been called selfish by close members of family. I wonder if it's true. It's thrown about so much in my direction. If you're going to Brit Mums Live, you can decide for yourself, I guess. 

I've not achieved much in my life, apart from 3 happy healthy children. In the past year, I've realised that in itself is an accomplishment. 
I've changed so much in this past year. I have distanced myself from people that make me feel negative. I have given my children more real time. I have realised that it is OK to be myself, that I don't have to live by other peoples standards. If you don't like me, leave me alone. 

I suppose the only downside in the way I've changed is an old problem resurfacing. I don't like going out much. The last time I got like this it got to the point where I wouldn't go anywhere alone, leading to an anxiety attack in the middle of a market, when I couldn't put eyes on my hubby.

I don't want this to happen again, but it's difficult to get out of the house when the people that understand me the best are in my computer! In the land of Twitter. I don't have a car very often, I have to rely on others to leave the house and, apart from my mum, I don't really have anyone.

So that is where my head is at, after a year of blogging. I love every single person that stops by and reads this. I am happier than I have been in a long time. I will make myself get out of the house, I'll just take twitter with me, on my phone!

I'll finish by saying, thank you for reading. Everyday I am shocked that people stop by. The coming days will be all about the people that inspire me, and that I aspire to be like.

Also one day this week I will be handing my blog over to the man that keeps me going, my very own rock. So beware, he can be very naughty, it may be an 18+ post. Look out for him Tuesday or Wednesday this week.

Again, it amazes me that you care enough to come back, so sending every one of you big squidgy welsh...
.
CWCHES.
xxx

5 comments:

  1. keep being you chick, coz the woman i remember is bright, funny and amazing! ...oh and gobby lol

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  2. it is funny how blogging does help us be more aware of ourselves. I blog very little of the whole picture of what goes on (apart from anything else I just cant find the time) and I'm terrified of twitter but I do find that I'm still constantly analysing whether to blog about certain things I am feeling. I've had to keep the blog generally my place to 'escape' to too but I think it is ok to give ourselves permission to do that. Hope you have a great time at Britmums (i'm not even brave enough to go there!) xxx

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  3. what a poignant and honest article. I have much admiration for someone that can share so openly, as it is things like this, that help other people in their daily struggles.
    Keep out the negative, focus on the positive.... check out the secret x

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  4. I admire your honesty. I find myself agreeing with so much of what you have written here. I find it hard to believe anyone really thinks you are selfish and I'm glad you have learned to ignore negative people. I often find the people that throw the selfish word around are usually the ones who are most selfish themselves. Chin up honey and have a fab time at Britmums.

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  5. I love you honesty here hun.

    Like the others have said, concentrate on the positive and block the negative out.

    I hope you have a brilliant time at Britmums

    Thank you for linking up with The Weekend Blog Hop

    Hope to see you again tomorrow.

    Laura x x x

    http://xmylifeasamummyx.blogspot.co.uk/

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I do love comments and read them all, please be nice and tboughful to others x