Saturday, April 06, 2013

I exist!!


Do you see her^^^^?
You do? Good. 

Does she have a voice?
She does?! then why can nobody hear it?

These are all  I have questions I have asked in my head this week.

I said to a couple of friends this week, that I am probably the most confident I have ever been. This is genuinely true. I don't like the way I look, but I really don't give a crap if anyone else is bothered. I didn't allow myself to have a great education, but I went back in my adulthood and tried again, I did well. I know I am capable of doing whatever I want to.

So why is it I feel like I am being seen as nothing more than a mother/housekeeper? People talk over me, not only in the sense that they will talk when I am, but literally talk over my head to my husband!

My home feels like my job these days, and not one I particularly get to enjoy. Maybe its because I haven't been physically able to get out as much over the last 10 months. I went to visit my dad at home this week, he is recovering from having a knee replacement, his partner is caring for him brilliantly. Its the little things that she does I envy the most, like getting my dads socks on for him as he can't bend his leg yet. 
I haven't been able to put socks on myself for months! I've just had to go without socks......yip, really.

It's not just that though, there might be something dropped on the floor, just a sweet wrapper for example. I have found myself leaving it there, just to see how long it would take for someone to pick it up, not wait for me to ask.........just....pick it up!

For years my depression has controlled me, but now I am controlling it. And its making all these little things really annoy me!

I do have an opinion.
I am Smart.
I am funny.

Stop ignoring me..........I do exist as a human being.
Not just a hoover.

3 comments:

  1. Problem is if I don't comment I feel I am adding to the problem ;-)

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    Replies
    1. Haha no the blogging community is the only place I do feel heard xx

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  2. Great post! I think many women feel this way often, I know I do. Both myself and my husband work on the farm together and I have never met anyone yet (even other women) who assume I am the one who runs the farm and not my husband. It makes me really angry at times when they talk over me and assume I don't know anything because I'm 'just' the homemaker.

    CJ x

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I do love comments and read them all, please be nice and tboughful to others x