Saturday, January 26, 2013

Am I failing?

I sometimes wonder if I'm letting my children down? Not in a self pitying 'I'm not a good mum' sort of way.

I know I'm a good mum in so many ways to my boys. They are well mannered, well behaved (most of the time), they are clean (some of the time). I absolutely adore them. I try to make sure they have they're homework done and they understand respect for their teachers etc.

They are always well fed, and normally we all sit together to eat our food. Not always possible, for example this week my hubby has been on afternoon shifts, for him that means working til midnight. So dinner tends to be all over the place, depending on his break. The youngest has a very limited diet, another thing most people don't know/don't realise about autism, the sensory issues around food. There will be some days that I will only be able to get him to eat crisps and bread. The worst thing you can tell me to do is leave him, he'll eat it when he's hungry!!! That one makes my blood boil!!

He doesn't understand that feeling!!! OK!

He will simply not eat, or just drink milk all day.

Right, now I've got that off my chest, the reason I feel I'm letting them down, Its the inactivity.

Little A and RJ are quite a handful when taken out. Neither are particularly aware of the dangers in wandering off, and neither are aware of where I am at any given moment. This means I genuinely need eyes in my ass if I want to take them anywhere. My eldest has always been a great help, but I feel that I can' t keep depending on him, he's 15 now and is already helping me more than enough. He has to live his life too!

Because of this I feel I've given up a bit. We tend to do very little outside anymore. We are very close at home and love sitting in a room together, enjoying TV and chatting. But I've lost my mojo for any activity, even in house activity! 
Ugh, I hate admitting it, but maybe saying it aloud will get my mind back in gear.

I've been in so much pain for the last few months, with my legs, my physio finally starts next week so I may finally find out why my legs hurt. 

That shouldn't stop me from getting out the paints, or materials, or anything that would be fun for the kids to do! If anything I should be doing more of it for goodness sake!

So here is me appealing for the blogging worlds help.
Stop me from failing my children, send me advise on cheap and easy things to do with my boys.

Please!??!?

12 comments:

  1. I think it sounds like you're doing a great job and I can totally understand where you're coming from with this. I think saying it out loud will help, I do the same thing from time to time to get myself kick started! It is hard to get motivated to do stuff at home too, I've started putting ideas on a Pinterest board if you want to have a look http://pinterest.com/motherscuffer/craft-stuff/

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    1. Thank you. I'm hoping it helps and I've just followed you on pinterest x

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  2. I don't have experience of older boys - yet - or caring for a child with autism, so my suggestions may not work. But... Board Games, that you may already have or find cheap in secondhand stores / on ebay? My 4yo has just developed real fondness for snakes and ladders and dominoes. Audio books? Again, probably easy topick up second hand, or download, and make a good change from TV. You can talk about the story afterwards, or make pictures based on it. Or stroytelling? Making up your own stories and using household items that can act as features of the story, say a rug for an island and a big box / laundry basket for a boat? It's National Storytelling week I read somewhere so may be worth googling for more ideas. I'll keep thinking and come back with more if they pop up... Stay strong x

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    1. The board games are a bit difficult, but i love the idea of story telling with household items! Thank you x

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  3. One more for you - junk modelling i.e. making stuff out of recycling, anything from puppets to robots to castles...

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  4. sorry to hear your legs have been hurting, hopefully physio will help...one of the things my son enjoys doing is making rockets..i save toilet and kitchen roll tubes..he sticks them together and decorates them xx

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  5. I have a 12 and 14 yr old and my eldest also has traits of Aspergers non diagnosed so I fully understand the talking and the obsessions! I suffer with ME and sometimes have very little energy or am in too much pain to get around. Lego has always been a life saver for us, where's Wally books used with magnifiers and the Wii Mario KArt as we can all play at the same time! Hope you feel better soon :)

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    1. We love the wii too, it's another thing we've forgotten about. Thanks for reminding me :-) x

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  6. You're not failing your children at all. It's easy to feel stuck in a rut when you health is impacting what you're able to do, especially in the Winter months, you are not alone in that feeling!

    There are so many amazing ideas on Pinterest you could have a go at, a lot of the time I use the housework I'm doing to teach them things, colours and textures when doing laundry, numbers when cooking, directions when cleaning; we make it fun but they still learn too!

    Don't stress, these things come naturally!

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    1. The youngest hates the noise of cleaners etc but I think I shall look through interest with them x

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