Tuesday, June 30, 2015

What would you do?

Do you know you often make me cry? That sometimes I stay in bed, in the morning, until you're gone?

You can't help your temper, I know.

When you say I'm a bad mother, I just have to take a deep breath, and leave it there.

Your words hurt so much, but I hide the pain from you, it's not your fault.

I know I'm lucky that you haven't hit me. So far you just take it out on the furniture, the walls, and all too often, yourself. But at least it's not me...........right?

I wonder if it will happen one day, it scares me a little, but I know that, even then, it won't be your fault.

If I'm in a mood, you even turn that around, to be about you, so I feel guilty.

Days out, or meals out, have to be planned so that you are happy. It's too hard if you're not.

Right now, reader, you are screaming at me to leave him, aren't you?

However, I have the most loving, gentle giant, of a husband you would ever have the pleasure of meeting.

No, I'm talking about my 12 year old son, with high functioning autism.

Now what do you say?

Saturday, June 27, 2015

My Sunday Photo

Says it all really.

Stop Blaming ME!

There has been another 'study' looking into the causes of Autism. This one is blaming C-Sections (here is one of the articles), it has now been disproved.

I'm here, stamping my feet, very loudly and saying:


How many ways can you blame me, for my child's neurological condition!?

So far it's been down to:
Toxin exposure
Ultrasound scans

I'm sure the list could go on.

All of them get disproved very quickly, because nobody knows why a child is autistic. No one knows if they are born with it, or it develops. You get that, right?

No one knows.

Stop trying to make me feel constantly guilty about it. I did not choose to give my child this condition. I do choose to love my children though. I also choose to not want to change them, or worse 'cure' them. They are beautiful, quirky, talented boys. Their births were different, they were carried different, yet they both have ASD.

We all have quirks, we are all individuals. Why do we have to keep looking for a reason that my children are individuals, just because their individuality has a name???

So, leave me alone. We are doing OK, we are happy, but most importantly:


P.S. Why not spend all the money your wasting, trying to prove this crap, on education!!

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Reasons to be Cheerful

I wasn't feeling very cheerful Wednesday morning, to be fair I had a right strop on! When it came time to write my reasons I had to sit and think about it.

Funnily enough, that brightens my day. I like thinking of the positives, when life seems a little crap. Quite frankly, it makes you realise that moments are crap, not life!

So here are my reasons this week:
(The badge is in the side bar)

1. BritMums Live. I was very fortunate to attend this year, and will be writing more about it. I didn't feel as overwhelmed by it all this year, I got to meet amazing people, and felt totally at peace the whole time.
Yes, that is me and Caprice!
2. Project House. Yes, this is still ongoing! This time it's the turn of my kitchen. It needs brightening up, a further post will come about that.

3. Job Losses. It seems odd to be happy about my husband being laid off from his employment, but it's quite a relief, even though there is uncertainty about our financial future. My husband is no longer capable of doing the job he was paid to do, or any other job, at the moment. Yes it's all uncertain, but we're happy, that's important too.

So that's my reasons, what are yours? Come share with me!

I have 2 weeks worth of posts to catch up on, so please join in, I will read and comment.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Please stop the Pop!

Ok, I know I don't normally get preachy about this stuff. My children are very particular about food, thanks to the sensory issues. My teen, however, has always been a bit of a nightmare with fizzy drinks.

And, it's come back to bite him on the Ass!

I've spent most of his teenage years trying to get him to stop drinking one form of fizzy drink or another. 

He had a time of drinking loads of energy drinks, I soon managed to put a stop to that. Drinks like Pepsi, Cola etc.....they've been a more difficult to stop.

He assumed, because he was drinking the sugar free type, he was ok. I've shown him the videos of what these types of drinks will do to your teeth, lots of times!

On top of that, he's been a nightmare to get to the dentist. We recently signed up to a new dentist, and I managed to get him there. Today he had to go back to start the process of having his teeth sorted.

He was in the chair, around, 55 minutes! 
He had to have cavities sorted, teeth filled and have them all cleaned. All the time I was in there with him, keeping a calming hand on him, to get him through. 

 Image courtesy of renjith krishnan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It's affected him quite badly, I think. Years of me nagging him did nothing, an hour at the dentist has finally made him realise the damage he was causing.

So please, I really mean this, stop drinking the pops! Sugar free, or otherwise, or at least limit the quantities you drink. 

One day, you could be sat in the dentist chair for an hour, I think my son will tell you:

'It's not pleasant'