Wednesday, December 13, 2017

Hello Again!

It really does feel like every post I write, these days, is a catch up post, explaining where I have been hiding! To be honest, if it's not one thing, it's another, in our lives. I really do need to carve out some space and time for myself, to feel free and to write.

I actually did one thing this evening that would help that situation! I moved a desk into my 'dressing room' (that sounds so much posher than it is. It's my eldest sons old room, that we now dump all the clothes in!), I have sat myself in front of the window with a bunch of fake flowers and a scented candle. I'm hoping it inspires me.

I like to be alone to write. I'm not mam, wife, chief cook or bottle washer..........I'm simply Ojo.


Now, back to where I've been. I've actually been quite absent across all social media, this past few months and this time it's not JUST been about the children! 

One of the bigger things, that kept me on my toes, was my eldest. I know I don't talk about him much, but he's almost 20 now (EEEEEK!) and doesn't want his life splashed across here. However he did give me permission to write about this. You see, I talk about the other 2 having autism, but I rarely speak about my eldest boys struggle with his mental health. He suffers with terrible anxiety and depression, he tried counselling, but it didn't work for him. He's on medication, but the one he was taking was giving him unpleasant side effects, so he was changed to another.

I think we can call it: The Month From Hell!

He was worse than he'd been for a long time! I can't remember the last time he was such a mess. Having him living away from home made it even harder, thank goodness for his ever patient girlfriend! He broke down on me more than once, his anxiety was through the roof again, it really was a horrible time for all involved. Thankfully, after a particularly bad day, we got him into to the Dr, who promptly changed his meds again. He does seem more like himself again, so we'll have to see how it goes.

I guess the reason I'm talking about it, and why he gave me permission, is because it NEEDS to be talked about! I like to think my boy can always turn to me, or his girlfriend, thankfully he does. But what about those suffering in silence???

We need to be more aware of these problems in our young. I know people say they have no reason to be depressed, blah blah blah..........SHUT UP. If you think being depressed has to have a reason, a cause, then you don't know depression. I have been on medication for many years, I'll probably never come off, because a part of my brain needs it, to function. You would take paracetamol for a headache, wouldn't you? 


The other reason I have been away? I've been a little poorly myself. The doctor has agreed that I'm pre-menopausal, my iron dropped through the floor again, then I got a throat/chest infection that knocked me to the ground. So I've spent most of the last month either sleeping, or feeling quite ill. I'm now up to 15 tablets a day, more to be taken during menstruation (too much info? Tough!). I guess that's the life of a full time carer though.

All in all, it's not been a pleasant time, of late.

Anyway, I'm back now and I will try to write more regularly.


Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Too many changes!

One of the things that most people know, about autism, is that our children don't deal well with change. Unfortunately, in life, changes happen!

Then it's left to the autism mam/dad to deal with the fall out.

Wednesday, November 08, 2017

Does it Matter?

We live in a world where, unfortunately, we judge on looks first, above all else. I'm not talking about finding a future partner, but finding employees! 

When you are looking for love, looks would be the first thing you would see. Those looks might not be what others are attracted to, but it's what's important to YOU at that particular moment, that counts.

However, when it comes to employment, shouldn't abilities go beyond the way someone looks?

I put a poll on Twitter, around a week ago, asking if people would be offended if being served in a shop by someone with hair like mine (pictured above). I only had a few responses but the overwhelming answer was NO, why should it bother them?!

I go out and about and people always comment on my hair, the majority of it being positive. One thing I hear a lot of though is: I would love to do that, but work won't let me. 


If a nurse is fully trained, but has blue hair, rather than brown, does it make her less qualified to look after you?
I worked in shops from the age of 16, until my youngest was born. If I went back to it now, would I be less capable because I have rainbow hair?

I know that some people will say it's about looking professional, but that simply brings us back to an antiquated opinion: That buttoned up rule keepers are best for the job.

Yeah OK, because Boris Johnson is just bloody awesome isn't he? Every country leader is far more qualified because they are 'beige', aren't they??

If you walked into your bank tomorrow, to take out a mortgage, would you really judge the lenders competency based on their hair colour?
If you do, it says more about you, than them.

Our world is forever moving forward, maybe it's time our judgements did. We aren't a 'black and white' world, why shouldn't we express ourselves with colour. Even if you wouldn't colour your hair the same, or have a tattoo, does it give you the right to think those that do are less capable?

For all you know that, buttoned down, beige, bank manager, could be covered in tattoos under his suit?

That doesn't bother me.

What's your opinion? 
What would you say if your bank manager had blue hair. Or you nurse had rainbow hair?