Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Who, What, Where, Why?

I've been a bad blogger, haven't I? Barely been here at all, with no good reason really.

If I'm honest, a lot of it has to do with self doubt, then I kick myself. I'm a very open person, in real life, as well as on here, sometimes I wonder if it's the right thing to do? If I voice my opinion on something, you can guarantee I'll do it in real life too. I wonder sometimes, though, if I should just keep my mouth shut!

For example, I opened my mouth last night, in a group chat. I ended up deleting it, because there was a chance that the person I was speaking about would see it, and I would rather say things face to face. Do I regret what I said, well, no actually! I only called that person self-centered and quite frankly aren't we all, just a little? So it was nothing horrific, but I feel terrible for my big mouth and my big foot I stuck in it!

We all have complicated problems, some much worse than others, but when a person can't seem to find the happy at all, it grates me a little.
 Is it my business, well no actually. 
Am I allowed an opinion, possibly not.

However, I am opinionated, passionate. My life isn't easy, but I rarely complain. I have 2 sayings in life that get me through:

'Same shit, different day'


'It is what it is'

We don't know what life is going to throw at us, my world has been flipped upside down, over the last few years. For a while I wanted to complain, and I did. Then I thought 'sod this, I'm going to be positive and happy'. I spend my time looking for the little pleasures in life, to make me smile. 

I don't judge the way others live their life, if you're not hurting others, I don't care. Do what makes you happy!

I've gone off track a little, I was beginning to explain where I've been. I guess I've been scared to have an opinion. Then I realised that I don't have many readers anyway! haha.

Anyway, I will write more. I will never be a 'proper' blogger anyway, I don't share my posts enough, my posts don't get shared. I'm not worried though.

It is what it is!

I would like to leave you with one thing though: If you have an opinion, voice it. People will agree or disagree, but if it's not offensive, it's nothing more than a conversation starter.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

WAAW: What I'd like you to know

I always say this, when I talk about autism: This is my personal story, every one is different. This week is World Autism Awareness Week, for more information try looking here: National Autistic Society.

I thought I'd write a post about the things I wish people understood. Just the basics that we live through, that most people make assumptions about. Actually, that's one of the points my eldest wanted to bring up: "Don't assume, if you want to know something, ask"

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Middle Age Musings

I'm not worried about being middle aged, my next birthday I turn 44, but it has made me realise I see things slightly differently. I'm not sure how much of it has to do with getting older, or if it's exhaustion related, thanks to children of various ages.

I was planning on spoiling my mam this mothers day, with a nice dinner and her favourite cake. With this came discussions about a drink at the table, I actually said the words 'No, I don't want wine, I don't like the way it makes me feel'(?!!). I actually realised I haven't had a drink since New Years eve, and then it was only one after my eldest (19) was home. Who am I?? I do crave a night out, but when the chance arrives I simply don't have the energy.

I mean, I don't feel old, I actually feel quite sprightly. I just feel like I'm (gulp) growing up. I know I don't look like a grown up, however, with my unicorn hair! 

What else has changed?

Then and Now

Celebrity Crushes Then: In my teens it would have been whatever rock star had long hair and tight jeans. Now: Probably Philip Scholfield, the silver fox. I even think Bradley Walsh has the cheeky cockney thing sorted! 
I look at pop stars now and my maternal thing switches on, nothing else.

Television Then: It was all about Top of the Pops, and Saturday morning hijinks. Now: It's still Saturday morning, now it's Saturday kitchen though. I'm a huge fan of This Morning and I love a good, edge of the seat, drama. Thankfully, I'm still not a soap fan, I do detest them.

Nights Out Then: Regularly down the pub, it helped that I worked behind a bar for a while. Also, anything that involved a band. It was all too much make up, too much hair and too much alcohol. Now: Honestly, I wish I still had the energy to go see some bands. I still love a night out, these days I'm lucky if it's once a year. 

Reading: Then: It had to be music magazines, or anything that had free lippy! Also loved a bit of a naughty book, Mistrals Daughter was one of my favourites. Now: Give me a blanket and a kindle, I'm a happy bunny. Love a good thriller, something I can lose myself in.

Food Then: Oh I was so bloody fussy! My veg had to be raw, didn't eat a cooked vegetable until I was 16. For a few years, my favourite food was a bowl of rice and sweetcorn, nothing else, just that. Now: I'll try anything, if I'm honest. I love experimenting, in the kitchen, I actually have herbs and spices that I use. My Chinese 5 spice is in date! (although I do still love rice and sweetcorn).


Does all this mean I'm growing up? I'm not sure. I think we just see things differently as we get older. As my eldest child gets ready to leave home I'm wondering how he will change. 
Will he eat something other than pasta or pizza? 
Will he actually be on time for something, anything?? 
Will he have some month left, at the end of his money?

All these things I've learnt as I've grown up, now I get to sit back and laugh as he has to do the same.